Tag: life

I Love You

A dear friend of mine lost three of her family members in a single accident. It’s hard to get my head around this.

I sat my kiddo down when I heard the news. “You know I love you, right?” She nodded and I continued, “Even when I’m a jerk, even when you’re a jerk, I love you every day, all day long, okay?”

…And so this is for all of you: my family, my friends, my friends who are family, my great loves past, present, and future, and even to those from all categories who’ve already left this life. I love you.

I love you on the days we gather to celebrate, and I love you on the days when we gather to mourn. I love you when you’re being an asshole and can’t decide what you want for dinner. I love you when I’m being a jackass and want to eat peanut butter out of the jar.

I love you when I like your posts on Facebook. I still love you when I haven’t been on Facebook for a while. I love you when you remember Halloween is my favorite time of year, and I love you when I tolerate your excitement over snow and eggnog.

I love you when you text me stupid things to make me laugh. I love you when I forget to text you back. I love you when we have adventures. I love you when I’m antisocial and want to be left the hell alone.

I love you even when I haven’t seen you in a long time, even a really long time. I love you when I send you snail mail. I love you when I forget to mail the card.

I love you when you don’t know what to say. I love you every time you say the most perfect thing, and even when you’re eating crow.

I love you for letting me have the apple butter…all the apple butter. I love you for showing up when you say you will. I love you because you don’t get flustered when I want to drive everywhere we go.

I love you for bringing me coffee at work. I love you for your innuendos. I love you for your character. I love you for accepting my weirdness without flinching.

I love you for hugging me even on days when hugs freakin’ creep me out. I love you for knowing when it’s a terrible idea to try to hug me.

I love you for sharing music with me. I love you for sharing books with me. I love you even when your books and music totally suck.

I love you for sharing secrets with me. I love you even though you think I don’t know all your secrets…but I do, and I’m still here.

I love you because we laugh together. I love you because you quote song lyrics and movies right along with me. I love you when we make crafts, food, and messes together.

I love you for taking care of me when I’m too stubborn to ask for help. I love you for letting me take care of you, for letting me buy your coffee sometimes.

I love you when you do stupid things. I love you when you should know better. I love you when I’m rolling my eyes at the dumbest joke I’ve ever heard.

I love you when you achieve your goals. I love you when you fall flat on your face. I love you for encouraging me. I love you for supporting me even when I’ve been an idiot.

I love you when you don’t love yourself. I love you on your bad hair days. I love you on my bad hair days, and there are a lot of those.

Every day. All day. Cliché? Yeah, maybe. You are part of the shiny strands that are woven together to make up the wild and beautiful spider web of my life. Thank you.

Eeeeek, Stop Trying to “Fix” Me

[pinterest count=”horizontal”] [fbshare type=”button”]

I’ve noticed lately that to the outside world, how I show up isn’t quite good enough…and the well-meaning do-gooders of the world seem to have no problem telling me how I could improve.  There are perhaps too many unfiltered ambassadors of helpfulness in my social circle right now.  I didn’t ask for their advice, but golly, they sure are generous and overly direct with it.  It’s overwhelming sometimes to get into my happy groove, my positive mindset, feeling unstoppable, and BOOM! There’s someone pointing out all the ways I could be better, look better, live better…and I’m not broken! I don’t want you to try to fix me.

One well-meaning do-gooder wants me to lose weight, take up a specific exercise regime and exist entirely on bars and powders and supplements, oh my!  I hurt my ankle badly last year.  I spent months in agony even when I was sitting down, only doing prescribed stretching and strength training exercises per doctor’s orders.  I gained some weight, yup, but really, it’s been the lowest of my concerns.  I have been permitted in the last couple weeks to finally go for walks (on level surfaces only!) after almost of a year of minimal movement.  On my first walk, I was feeling so exhilarated to finally be able to move without white hot pain, feeling so giddy in the simplicity of taking literal steps forward.  I am so proud and happy of standing on my own two feet!

Another do-gooder thinks I will go farther in my career if I put on “preppy” clothes.  Hmmmmm.  I wear professional clothes to my day gig, but I seldom wear suits.  I am incredibly unproductive in a suit, struggling like a fidgety five year old forced into “church clothes.” In a suit, all I can think about it how I wish I was wearing something else!  I’m feeling accomplished, professional, productive and effective in what I have on, thanks.

Still another do-gooder believes that I will never “find a man” if I continue to wear sneakers all the time.  What!?! After several foot injuries and injuries to both ankles, all in the last decade, I’m pretty much on sneaker patrol all the time.  I am confident that a loving, solid, trustworthy partner won’t care what shoes I wear.  Is this really a thing? Do men only date women in stripper heels? I don’t think I’m buying what you’re selling.

I don’t need “fixing.”  Sure, I’m a work in progress, ever changing, dynamic, but there’s nothing “wrong” with me.  I like me.  I loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove me, sneakers and all.

Happy Valentine’s Day 2014

On this Valentine’s Day, a quote from Paulo Coelho to share: “Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”

Now, this quote isn’t just about your romantic heart, folks, although that’s certainly a valid quote for romance as well.

This quote for me is about your life’s passion, your heart’s desire.  Do what you love and  love what you do, that sort of mojo.  I’ve spent the last several years pondering what I really want to do with my time, with my work.  I’ve explored some great books and subscribed to some wonderful email newsletters to keep my focus.  I’ve paddled through a sea of self doubt before arriving on the shore ready to rock and roll.  I think I have my head and heart aligned when I say I want to write, coach, speak, train for a living, helping folks consider ways over, around or through what they perceive as their obstacles.  I like to help people get unstuck, and I know I’m good at it.  Maybe we’ll toss a little tarot reading in there for good measure just because I like it and it’s fun.  I’m putting this out there to you, kind reader, and to the Universe to help my dreams and aspirations become real.  It would be a big change from my day job, but I’m so over doing what I “have” to do and what I’m “supposed” to do, and I am ready to do more of what I want to do and what I was born to do.  Can I get an “Amen?!”

On a Valentine’s note, for those in my circle of love, I’m pretty darn sure you know you are loved by me, because I suck at hiding my enthusiasm!  You’re loved every day, not just when Hallmark tells me I should buy a card.

Minime & Kat ponder “definitely maybe”

Minime and I watched Definitely Maybe this morning.  It has Ryan Reynolds in it…who somewhat scares me a little in every movie (even comedies) ever since I saw him in the Amityville remake.

Anyway, the point of the movie is Ryan’s character Will telling his daughter the story of the big loves of his life, how he met her mother and where he is in his life now that they are divorcing.  The story spans years, with one character who keeps reappearing in the story.  April (played by Isla Fisher, perhaps best known as Borat’s baby mama?) is the bohemian smartass that weaves in and out of the tale…and she loves Will but the timing is off.  The day she comes back from months of traveling to tell Will she loves him, he’s proposing to someone else he met while April was gone.   More time passes and when Will (typical slow draggin’ ass male) finally comes to tell her he loves her too, she’s cohabitating with some other guy.  And so it goes, back and forth, time passing, weddings, careers, kids, divorces.  Of course, it has a Hollywood ending (spoiler alert) when Will’s daughter tells him she just wants him to be happy, so together, at the very end they go and get the girl.

Minime wanted to ponder and reflect on this movie, so here’s the dialogue that went down on the couch as the credits rolled a few minutes ago…

The Kid: Hey, do you think that ever happens or is it made up?

Me: What?

The Kid: That people don’t marry the one they really really reallllllllllly love.  Will loved the girl’s mommy that he married, but he loved April in a better way for a longer time.

Me: Errrrrrrrrrrrr…Yes, I guess.  I think people marry people they love, but maybe not always their one great big true love.  Maybe.  I dunno.

The Kid:  That’s stupid to do.

Me: Uhhh, yes, but it happens.  (this is the part where I deftly try to change the subject) We should go out to lunch!

The Kid: (The Kid is even more conversationally persistent than I am, and she’s not done) I’m not hungry.  Why would people not marry their big love person?  That’s just dumb.  You marry your big love person and have babies and smile at each other a lot.

Me:  Errrrrrrr…Just like in the movie, honey.  Timing, I guess.  April loved him, but he was with someone else because he didn’t have any idea at all that she loved him.  But then he knew, and when he was ready to love her, she’d moved on.  Let’s go to IHOP!

The Kid:  I don’t want to go to IHOP.  Why do people move on?

Me:  Errrrrrrrrr, wow, kiddo, you’re killing me a little today! I guess people move on because no one wants to be all alone, and maybe they’re afraid they’ll never get to have that, what did you call them, “big love person.” They’re afraid they’ll never have that person.

The Kid: Crap, that’s stupid.  Of course you can have your big love person, but sometimes you have to wait a long time, like in the movie.

Me: Don’t say “crap,” you’re not allowed to say that.  Maybe so, kiddo, maybe so…and I think we’re going to skip romantic comedies from now on, ok?

The Kid: No, you need to watch them so you can figure love out.  (and with that, Miss Priss bounced off the couch…)

OH MY GOD.  I think my kid just schooled me on life and love as she flounced off to straighten her hair.  And I think………………………………………………………………………..sigh, sigh, sigh.  I think I’ll just rent all the Death Wish movies tonight to wash all this nonsense out of my brain.