katbox – the world famous katbox

Leaves suck

Today, I spent a few hours raking leaves and dragging them to the curb so the city can ignore them and the leaves can blow down the street into someone else’s yard. Even with several hours spent on raking leaves, there are so many on the ground and still so many more to yet to fall, you can’t even really tell I did anything at all out there.

The big project was to get the leaves off the back porch. Every time I opened the back door this week to let the dogs in and out, giant piles of leaves would blow into the house. I took that as a sign that I needed to do something and hauled 5 trash cans full of leaves off the back porch today.

I worked some on the mountain of leaves in the back yard with the help of our youngest dog, who is also our largest dog. He is a beagle-dinosaur mix, huge and still growing. He helped me out a lot by carrying the rake away every time I would put it down to carry leaves to the curb. While I was raking, he would throw himself on top of the rake and chew at the handle. He also assisted by gnawing a couple tines off the rake while I was bagging up random bits of trash from around the back yard, and when I was done bagging trash, he helped me out by tearing the bag of trash to shreds and scattering it everywhere. He wanted to make the work more exciting, I guess; no sense in being bored out there!

After I’d had enough of the magic of leaf removal for one day, I thought I’d drag myself back in the house and watch cartoons. Given that I’d been in the areas of the yard frequented by our three dogs, it was important to inspect the bottoms of my shoes for anything fun that I shouldn’t track into the house. Inspection of the right foot was cool, but you know what? Thanks to the glory of my recently sprained ankle, I couldn’t tilt my left foot up to look at the bottom of my shoe! Too weak, won’t go that way at all. To think all this time I’ve taken for granted the ability to inspect my shoes for poop…ah, when I get that ability back, I’ll be ever so grateful. No worries, though; Minime was thrilled (and by thrilled, I mean horrified) to be asked to inspect my left shoe.

I’m sure there’s more fun to be had as the leaves continue to fall…but if I had any money to spare, I’d pay someone else to have all the fun of removing those leaves. That’s some fun I’m willing to pass up.

Shame on me!

Not 24 hours later, I ended up arguing with Mr. Kat 2.0 again and I blame myself 100%. First, I shouldn’t have answered the phone at all when I saw the number on caller ID; I was at work, I was tired and frankly, I was still irritated at him from yesterday, so I shouldn’t have taken the call. Second, I can’t believe I fell right into yet another dispute when I know better than to even engage in it in the first place.

Here’s a sample of the irrational conversation from today:

Me: It’s your dog.

Him: He was our dog.

Me: No, you had him before we were even dating, before you even knew me, thus he’s your dog. Take responsibility for him. (I’m calm at this point, completely factual. Logic is my friend!)

Him: Well, you kept the storage building.

Me: What? What the f-ing hell are you even talking about? (I’m a little irritated at the new topic, but I’m not mad. I cuss all day long, this use of ‘f-ing hell’ was merely emphasizing that I have no idea what he’s talking about)

Him: You kept the storage building, and that should be mine.

Me: What does that have to do with the dog? (I’m trying to find the logic here, even though I know there really is none to be found!)

Him: I think I paid more for the storage building than you did.

Me: (this is the part where I should’ve stopped the conversation because see how he changed the subject from the dog to something else completely random out of thin air? where did this topic even come from? random topics in mid-discussion to distract me are so annoying, but I know this trick of his and should’ve just hung up) No, you didn’t, I have the check to prove what I paid but I don’t care about the money. If you want it, please take it, move the damn building already! (see, at this point, I’m officially pissed, because his whining about the storage building has gone on for 18 months, and every time, I’ve said come get it if you will shut up because I’d much much much rather have peace than any storage building…but there’s no sport in taking the building, is there? It’s only fun for him if he gets to randomly argue with me about it)

Him: Why are you always so mad at me?

Me: ARG! (the conversation that followed was infused with a ridiculous number of angry obscenities flying from my mouth before I hung up in disgust, so we’ll just sum it up with ARG!)

So. Shame on me for getting mired in the most idiotic of disputes, shame on me for falling for the random change of topic to turn nothing at all into an argument, shame on me. I will do better next time; I will let voicemail pick up…and if I must talk to him, then I will try to keep the conversation focused and calm, not letting him digress into other conversational hot buttons just to stir up a fight out of thin air. Above all, I will be grateful that he’s the only person that I argue so nastily with on the whole planet and I will be grateful that we don’t live together anymore, ever again, hallelujah for that.

what does Prince wear around the house?

Yes, I’m supposed to be studying, but sometimes these random thoughts are very important to consider. What does Prince wear around the house? Historically, he’s always been a very fashion forward, chic sort of person. While I’ve seen photos of Madonna, for example, looking like hell on a stick as she goes out for coffee, Prince is always neat, presentable, elegant.

So.

It’s Sunday, late morning. What do you think Prince is wearing right now? Do you think he’s wearing yesterday’s tshirt (like me!) and some semi-sketchy-not-sure-when-these-were-last-washed flannel pajama pants (like me!) as midday approaches? Do you think his significant other has to be all up in his face like “Prince, you’ve been wearing that Lakers sweatshirt for what, 3 days now? What is that on the front, nacho cheese? You’ve got to put on something clean before my mother comes over and for god’s sake, brush your teeth!” Yeah, it’s hard to imagine his Royal Purpleness sniffing at his cheese-stained 3 day old sweatshirt and going “But honeyyyyyyyyyyyy, I smell fine!” Do you think he has some nasty hole riddled pair of sweatpants or flannel pj pants that his woman would set on fire if she could just get him parted from them for any length of time? I’d like to think that Prince is a regular guy. That thought comforts me.

my very special friends

The photos I took at my own birthday soiree weren’t all that great, I’m told. Everyone is all blurry and obviously the camera angle is all crooked…and yeah, yeah, I’ve heard that I must have been so sloshed to take such horrible pictures.

It’s truth time. It’s time to come clean about those photos, time to come clean about my friends in those photos. I can’t be silent about this anymore.

Here’s the 411, I hope you can handle the reality, it’s pretty harsh: those photos, all those blurry photos I took from my birthday party…you need to stop making fun of them right now.

The facts are not that I was so sloshed I couldn’t take a proper photo; instead, the cold truth is that all my friends are blurry around the edges. That’s right: All my friends are blurry. Some of my friends are even askew and off center. So what? I’m ok with that! There was nothing wrong with me or my camera at my birthday party, and darn it, there’s nothing wrong with my friends, my blurry fuzzy hard to recognize friends. Blurry people are people, too, with feelings, hopes and dreams! I won’t have anymore blurry bashing; if you can’t be open minded enough to accept the blurry people in my life, you just need to move on, man, move on…

birthday

Good birthday so far. Got my first birthday kind thoughts in my email inbox at 12:12 AM (yes, I know, I shoulda been sleeping, tell me something I don’t already know), and it’s been all good since, but I have been so well celebrated with food that I might explode! Gawd bless T for bringing my favorite juice smoothie AND a bendy straw this morning. Warm cookies. Breakfast casserole. Haven’t even gotten into the banana split fixin’s I was generously gifted with today, and dinner awaits, too. I’m so thrilled at being thought of this year, just giddy about it. Karaoke and paintball tomorrow…come one, come all, let me shoot at you and sing horribly off key (but with enthusiasm) to you…

don’t let me watch tv, I get all girly and sensitive

I try not to watch tv. I get sucked in and lose valuable time. I get all lost in tear-jerking 2 hour episodes of House like I did tonight and end up feeling all sensitive and girly.

And then, once I get all freakin’ sensitive and girly, I have to start sharing things. I must. I can’t stop myself. Crap. Here I go, or I won’t be able to sleep…here comes the sharing, nice Kat and after 2 emotional hours of House, I have a lot to say:

My birthday’s coming up (you must have been under a rock not to know that), and there’s a lot to think about, be grateful for, so very much on my mind. I’m so excited about paintballing and dinner and karaoke for my birthday that I can hardly hold myself together. I’m tickled pink not to have to throw my own party this year–thanks, T!

I’m full of gratitude as this 35th birthday rolls around. It’s been a tough year in a lot of ways, but I think I’ve picked myself up, dusted myself off and moved right along fairly well. Dang that Chiquita for trying pretty hard to drop dead earlier this year and stressing me the hell out! Thank goodness she bounced back to eat apple fritters with me in TN and worry with me about poonanny maintenance! And the V-man, glad you’re back in my life, though I hate that it took your illness to put you here, but I accept that sometimes that’s how life works–now and then, it takes the hardships to inspire us to reach out.

The Bean and the Steinster moved away; while it bummed me out they had to move on down the road and I miss their jokes already, I’m so pleased they took the opportunities offered. Miss Rosey, I’m glad that while it seemed like you were leaving, you got to stay after all; you’re a cool chickie. Daisy, Daisy, Daisy, move that man into your house already; it’s killin’ me. Annie Oakley, I’m so glad to walk and talk and harass Subway employees with you. And speaking of lunch, that reminds me to get all grateful for Mr. Oddstar and the time we manage to find to split nachos with extra jalapenos and no tomato and talk about life; you know I’ll perform your wedding ceremony: I’m ordained!

Mr. Dog and Uncle 420, thanks for always believing in the Kat Box and for helping me have this forum for the last, what, 8 years or so? I’d be in a rubber room without it, and your offer to beat up those menfolk that have wronged me with baseball bats has always been such a comfort in my times of woe, thank you!!

Scoot gets mad props for building a good campfire and always letting me drink the majority of his beer without complaint; our younguns are gonna be hell on wheels together before we know it! Ms. Morgan keeps me ever amused with her on-going sagas of love, keep ’em coming, along with your birthday celebrations laden with pumpkin cheesecake. Baby Bro, I suppose that now that I’m just about 35 and you’re 33 that I might finally let you drive on our roadtrips——-nah, ask me again when you’re 35; bummer about CrueFest, but STP was crazy fun and so were all those roller coasters this summer!

I haven’t exactly made peace with the ex Mr. Kat 2.0 yet, but I have made some peace at long last with ex Mr. Kat 1.0 and that’s big progress over this time last year. I saw 1.0 today and didn’t once yearn to punch him in the eye! That’s a huge change, so much can happen in a year.

This year we’ve had a bunch of potlucks and the absolute most hilarious food fight ever; I learned how hard it is to shake rice out of my ear and how pee in my pants funny it is to throw Jello in my unsuspecting friend Annie’s face. Remember last year in September how I insisted on cake for my birthday potluck and had so much cake that I ate it for every meal for days and days!?! You were all so very, very good to me, showing me love with cake! Omg, it was so good to see my beloved Mr. Sutton for my last birthday, such a treat! I love those parties and camping trips and road trips and dinners; somehow I’ve become a social director on this cruise ship of life and I’m ok with that.

Spider John, come out and play with us. Ricardo Allejandro of the High Mountains, I’ll perform your wedding ceremony, but I have questions about going commando under the kilt I know you’ll wear (what if it’s windy?!). Vernie Sue & Ada Mae, ever so glad to still have you around–remember when we were just a bunch of goofy Warren Wilson freshmen (we’re still goofy)? NatureGal, you and your old man are such a good match; it’s so sweet and inspiring. Sparky, what more can I tell you other than what you already know for sure? Thanks for making me smile a lot. SGF, you are such an SGF and I’ll always be the NSGF (the color on my toes is Rocker Blues). Don, send nosejob pix and thank you for turning me into a nut for cold sake.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m sure I missed a lot of folks in this lengthy drawn out rambling sensitive girly nonsense, but I have to stop now, I’m sorry! I’m getting sleepy finally, and I’ve worked most of the girly-osity out of my system at last. So much has happened from turning 34 to getting ready to turn 35–thanks for all the adventures we’ve had, friends, and all the new adventures yet to come. Thanks for the parts you play in the story that is my life, let’s see what happens in the next chapter! Much love to all…g’nite!

TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF ALREADY!!!!!!!

Over lunch with some anonymous awesome divas today, a conversation came up about body image. I have a friend who will not be seen in a swimsuit at the beach or the pool, ever. The conversation went even further into strange territory when it was stated that the preference was to even stay partially dressed (long tshirt, whatever) whilst in, ahem, intimate moments.

This is not a gender specific issue, body image, so I wanted to get out here on my blog and talk to everyone about it. Put on your freakin’ swimsuit and enjoy the ocean! There will always be someone thinner than you, there will always be someone heavier than you, who the hell cares, go have fun! And as for those intimate moments, ummm, you’ve gotten far enough with someone that clothing is optional and probably just in the way, so just remove it all!

I don’t care if I wear a swimsuit at the beach, geez. The only peril to that is blinding innocent bystanders when the sunlight reflects off my whiter than white skin. If I waited until I had some “perfect” body, whatever that is, I’d never freakin’ get to go swimming! I don’t want to miss out on a thing, and why would you? In fact, I have more than one swimsuit in case one’s wet and I wanna go swim again! Why would you want to skip the trip to the lake or the pool party and miss out on fun with friends and family? They really don’t give a snot what you look like in your swimwear, I promise; they just wanna goof off and spend time with you. I can’t imagine missing out on playing “mermaid” with Minime in the pool or not wave jumping out in the ocean with because I was self-conscious about my butt in a swimsuit.

As for your special getting freaky moments, strip! In a fit of far TMI, I will tell you that I HATEHATEHATE to get cold, so in the summer with the A/C blowing, I like a little coverup if it’s time to get down, but if we can get it warm in here, it’s a free for all of paleness and tangled limbs. Why? Because this is it, folks, this is all there is. Today is all we have, right this minute, so you gotta accept who you are inside and out today. Sure, you can wish your abs were less sticky outy, but today, they are what they are…do some crunches and get your freak on! I hate to think that people are skipping intimacy with their loves because they feel funny about whether their boobs are too small or their ass is too big or their stomach is too round or their elbows are too pointy or I don’t even know what else. We’re all human, we come in different shapes and shades and sizes, and who you are today, right this second, is completely strip-worthy to the one you love that loves you, too.

It’s not a beauty pageant, it’s real life. I work with a guy who has such a way with the ladies, but on the surface, he’s just an average fellow—no movie star looks, no bling. There’s never a shortage of women in his life. It’s not about his looks or his physique, though, it’s about confidence in himself. He believes he’s a hottie from Hottieville, he projects this with ease and grace, and thus he is. Believe, people, believe! I know I can’t make you see what you don’t want to see in yourselves, but dang! This life we get is too short to be thinking you’re anything less than Da Bomb!

Take your clothes off already…in broad daylight, even! (disclaimer: please strip only in the privacy of your own home and not, say, at Waffle House or the office) All you have is today…enjoy the hell out of it!

I Woke Up Needing Validation

I woke up very unlike myself. I woke up needing praise, needing validation, needing an atta girl and there was none to be found. I woke up needing to be told I’m the awesomest person in the world. And at 5:30 AM, there was no one around to do that.

Sigh.

So I got on the treadmill and climbed hills for a few minutes, thinking a little accomplishment early in the day would be a great beginning. I climbed til my ass hurt, but it didn’t do much for me. I even soaked in a hot bubble bath post-treadmill, and a bubble bath usually fixes everything, but…no.

On the surface, all is well. Underneath it all, I am unsettled. Too many things are up in the air and I prefer to be in control, so I think maybe that’s where the nervousness and neediness come into play this morning. As I sip my requisite Diet Coke, I’m trying to make a mental list of what I am in control of and what I know I’m doing well to see if I can bring myself back to more comfortable footing…

Graduation

My mom got her first college credential last night, crossing the stage in her cap and gown at the Thomas Wolfe Auditorium. While my mom and I don’t always see things eye to eye in the daily matters of life, I have nothing but pride for her accomplishment. It’s really cool that she wanted to go to college and see it through at this point in her life as a mother and a grandmother, as a working woman and a wife. She graduated with honors of course; that’s probably where I get my “is there something higher than an A+ that I could work toward?” ethic in school. Good job, Mom, bravo!

My mind wandered all over the place during the ceremony. When my brother wasn’t trying to get me to punch him (I had to scoot over a seat so he’d stop poking me with his elbow on purpose), I was thinking about crossing that same stage a couple times myself. My high school graduation was in that auditorium. I remember they made me wear white dress shoes with our pastel graduation gown: ack, white shoes AND a pastel gown, offend the girl in black in every way possible!!! The shoes were slick on the bottom since they were new; I was worried I was going to bust my clumsy ass (being clumsy and lacking grace has been a lifelong trait, nothing new) in front of everyone, but I made it across the stage and back to my seat safely. At the end of the ceremony, we all tossed our caps high. I left mine in the auditorium, no interest in trying to figure out which was mine in the mayhem when I just wanted out of there. The next afternoon, I went to work at my job in the music and video department of PharMor, and my manager handed me my cap–it had a big note on it from the class clown, such a smartass even to this day: “Hey, found this in my bed this morning…” What a weasel. I thought it was funny as hell until I realized my manager thought my classmate really did find it in his bed.

I crossed the same stage again when I got my first college degree in my twenties. It had been a long, challenging road to get that degree. I was divorced. I worked full time, went to school full time and took care of my baby girl in the hours that remained of the day. I slept very little, more than likely fostering the beginnings of the sleep problems I still have today. Couldn’t tell you how many times I studied for a test with a baby on my shoulder, usually a sick wailing baby since Minime had about 300 million ear infections when she was tiny…by the time I finished school, she was a sweet little toddler who shouted out “That’s my mommy!” when I stepped up on the stage. The happy voice of a proud little girl made every part of that hard educational journey worthwhile.

I know that everyone who crossed the stage last night had challenges and hardships and probably times where they wanted to throw in the towel, drop out of college and forget about it. It’s above and beyond awesome that they stuck with it, Mom included. May you all reach every goal you set out to achieve!

this afternoon…

…was one of those kickass afternoons where you get so much done you wonder why you even bothered to show up the rest of the week if all you really needed was today.

It was like I was all jacked up on Red Bull and iced coffee, but without the Red Bull and iced coffee. I got things scheduled, got issues resolved and actually (gasp!) used the telephone!

For those that know my work style, I never use the phone if I can help it–my office desk phone ends up in “out” mode for days because I forget to turn it back on, and I like the out mode: straight to voicemail, no ringydingy. I’m an email or in-person kinda chick for work things. I either want it in writing, or I want to see you face to face. I hate playing phone tag! But today, in my hard-working good cheer, I used the phone, and I used it more than once: shocking!

I crossed items off to do lists. I worked off the tasks on the post-it notes all over my desk. I made new lists. I smiled at people. I visited a few folks and bounced around finishing things. It was like the tidal wave of energy to finish projects you get right before you go on vacation…only I’m not going on vacation. Maybe tomorrow at work will be just like a vacation since I was a whirlwind this afternoon… (a girl can dream!)