Minime & Kat ponder “definitely maybe”

Minime and I watched Definitely Maybe this morning.  It has Ryan Reynolds in it…who somewhat scares me a little in every movie (even comedies) ever since I saw him in the Amityville remake.

Anyway, the point of the movie is Ryan’s character Will telling his daughter the story of the big loves of his life, how he met her mother and where he is in his life now that they are divorcing.  The story spans years, with one character who keeps reappearing in the story.  April (played by Isla Fisher, perhaps best known as Borat’s baby mama?) is the bohemian smartass that weaves in and out of the tale…and she loves Will but the timing is off.  The day she comes back from months of traveling to tell Will she loves him, he’s proposing to someone else he met while April was gone.   More time passes and when Will (typical slow draggin’ ass male) finally comes to tell her he loves her too, she’s cohabitating with some other guy.  And so it goes, back and forth, time passing, weddings, careers, kids, divorces.  Of course, it has a Hollywood ending (spoiler alert) when Will’s daughter tells him she just wants him to be happy, so together, at the very end they go and get the girl.

Minime wanted to ponder and reflect on this movie, so here’s the dialogue that went down on the couch as the credits rolled a few minutes ago…

The Kid: Hey, do you think that ever happens or is it made up?

Me: What?

The Kid: That people don’t marry the one they really really reallllllllllly love.  Will loved the girl’s mommy that he married, but he loved April in a better way for a longer time.

Me: Errrrrrrrrrrrr…Yes, I guess.  I think people marry people they love, but maybe not always their one great big true love.  Maybe.  I dunno.

The Kid:  That’s stupid to do.

Me: Uhhh, yes, but it happens.  (this is the part where I deftly try to change the subject) We should go out to lunch!

The Kid: (The Kid is even more conversationally persistent than I am, and she’s not done) I’m not hungry.  Why would people not marry their big love person?  That’s just dumb.  You marry your big love person and have babies and smile at each other a lot.

Me:  Errrrrrrr…Just like in the movie, honey.  Timing, I guess.  April loved him, but he was with someone else because he didn’t have any idea at all that she loved him.  But then he knew, and when he was ready to love her, she’d moved on.  Let’s go to IHOP!

The Kid:  I don’t want to go to IHOP.  Why do people move on?

Me:  Errrrrrrrrr, wow, kiddo, you’re killing me a little today! I guess people move on because no one wants to be all alone, and maybe they’re afraid they’ll never get to have that, what did you call them, “big love person.” They’re afraid they’ll never have that person.

The Kid: Crap, that’s stupid.  Of course you can have your big love person, but sometimes you have to wait a long time, like in the movie.

Me: Don’t say “crap,” you’re not allowed to say that.  Maybe so, kiddo, maybe so…and I think we’re going to skip romantic comedies from now on, ok?

The Kid: No, you need to watch them so you can figure love out.  (and with that, Miss Priss bounced off the couch…)

OH MY GOD.  I think my kid just schooled me on life and love as she flounced off to straighten her hair.  And I think………………………………………………………………………..sigh, sigh, sigh.  I think I’ll just rent all the Death Wish movies tonight to wash all this nonsense out of my brain.

Crap

Deleted some legitimate comments this morning from my blog posts—sorry, all.  I was coping with a deluge of spam comments and got a little click happy.

Please leave comments! I like them!  I’ll be a more cautious clicker in the future.

Your Nose

I can’t believe you had a nose job.  Do you know what a regular person could do with that kind of money?  Good gawd, I could go on a week’s vacation, pay off a credit card, get a massage and throw one hell of a party, and I’d still have money to spare for what you’ve spent on something that didn’t freakin’ need fixing!

I was looking at our high school yearbook photos just last week at Scootster’s house when I was drinking all his beers…you were cute then, dorky cute, hadn’t quite grown into your calm, confident sense of self yet.  And as an adult, 4 out of 4 people that I surveyed told me they thought your nose was just fine and that you were a good lookin’ guy.

Ah, but now it’s your old nose.  Your old nose was fine.  We must talk about it in the past tense.  Your old nose.  Now you have a nice new nose.  I wonder if I’d still recognize you…I’ve known you since we were Minime’s age, I wonder if my brain can wrap itself around the idea of your new feature–I have the photo you took of yourself on the plane last year, such a good photo, but would I know you today?

It’s just weird for me to think about.  I like to see the familiar angles of my friends’ faces as the years pass.  I take comfort in that familiarity.  And you chose to change that, your choice of course, your call to make and really not my business, but it’s so strange to me, hard for me to understand it.  I don’t choose my friends because of their appearances or their checkbooks or the cars they drive, so in that light, you are my friend no matter how old or new your nose…I send my love, I wish you a speedy recovery and when all’s well, I want to see.  I hope the change brings you confidence and peace.

Bacon

When you’re as important (and moody) as I am, it’s terrific to know that all I have to do is wish for things and there are people who want to make my dreams come true.

Why, just yesterday, I gently kindly wistfully wished aloud for some bacon for a late breakfast.  Or maybe I said I’m starving, why the hell hasn’t anyone around here brought me any freakin’ bacon yet?  I tend to believe I was delicate and sweet in my humble wish…and before I knew it, there was warm crispy bacon being delivered to my office.  I’ll point out that I don’t work in food service and there was no bacon in the building at the time of my request, I just wanted it and someone made it happen for me; this bacon was a special delivery.

If my being in print in Mountain Xpress and being on television this week wasn’t proof enough that the world revolves around me, the bacon, that’s all the proof I need.

Steinster–

Girl, I’m so psyched that you got a new job and you’re moving and good for you!!  I’m so proud, like I raised you from a pup myself.

But I’ll miss you!  Who will be concerned over Brangelina and TomKat with me?  Who will reflect over Pam and Tommy Lee: on again, off again?  Who will eat wheat-free breakfast cereals with me mixed with applesauce and berries?!?!? OH MY GAWD DON’T GO!!!!!!!!!!!!

(good luck on your new adventures—The Kat Box goes with you wherever you are!)