Hey, I’m working on an author site. By “working on an author site” I mean I have a domain name and an email list so far, that’s how new it is. BUT! I have a freebie for subscribers. Go get it!
I have been having a rough time lately…the usual kinds of challenges that we all face personally and professionally, but the challenges feel amplified by the holidays. I asked the Universe to give me a break, to cut me some slack please pleeeeeease.
I received an invitation out of the blue…an invitation to dance. I don’t dance! I am a mosh pit brawler, but I am not a dancer. I am clumsy. I felt embarrassed just reading the invitation, and I was thissssclose to sending my regrets that I couldn’t attend.
I paused, thinking this was such an unusual invitation. Had I ever in my life been invited to a dance outside of high school? I couldn’t remember ever receiving such an invitation. Maybe the Universe was trying to give me an opportunity to feel differently this holiday season by doing something different?
I deleted my regrets, and replied that I didn’t know how to do the dances, but that I would be willing to give it a go. I hit send before I could chicken out.
The venue was a stone manor built in the 1920’s. It looks like a castle. Inside there are large stone fireplaces, high ceilings, chandeliers, and a ballroom. I found myself standing in that ballroom, a Cinderella with two left feet, and I considered excusing myself under the guise of a restroom visit to run away before the festivities started. I talked myself into staying.
The waltz. I stepped on my partner’s feet. I laughed. I stepped on his feet some more and laughed a lot, some of it nervous and some of the laughter the glee of a kid with a new toy…and then for a few gorgeous minutes, I got it. I was waltzing, waltzing until I was dizzy!
The English country dances. I didn’t know any of the lingo when we started, but I soon caught on well enough to follow along for most of the dances. I wasn’t graceful or elegant, but I was delighted. I had a different partner for every dance, and every partner taught me something I didn’t know, every partner gracious and forgiving of my newbie status.
The hours passed in a flash. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time, and I haven’t been so challenged by trying some completely foreign in a long time.
Later in bed, I realized in all those hours under the chandeliers, I hadn’t given my troubles a single thought. My previously tight, tense shoulders were relaxed. The Universe had given me a break and cut me some slack, granting me a fabulous day that I would long remember.
Would you have accepted the invitation to the dance, or the equivalent, that popped up out of nowhere? I am glad I did.
I haven’t been writing or working on some of my other entrepreneurial ideas as much because an opportunity popped up to share my cameo pendants at a craft show…and I also got a couple offers to consign my jewelry at local shops. Say what?! Crazy cool.
I hand pour into the mold for each cameo, I hand paint each one and add shading, and then I assemble the whole shebang. I have some traditional cameos of women in profile, but I prefer to make the more gothy ones with skulls and fairies. Cameos for your inner badass. Cameos for the rock n roller at heart. I’m pondering putting these on Etsy, too.
The interest in these is so exciting, because I freakin’ love making them. We’ll see what happens next!
Another Christmas behind us. Another Yule gone. Santa still sucks as far as I’m concerned…no winter wonderland jewelry commercials came to life, no magical surprises. That bites, ya’ll. I want magic, sprinkles, fairies, dragons, jewels, laughter and amazingness. I want all this and more in 2016. More hammocks. More naps. More books. So let’s make it so.
In 2016, I will have the following amazingness and MORE:
delicious naps with no alarm clock, a great book in hand and another waiting in the wings, intuition on overdrive, coffee with friends, dessert with friends, cuddles with the critters, allowing people to adore me, unexpected opportunities to earn money, wonderful concerts, love letters that arrive via snail mail, snail mail that has happy notes in it, generosity, more of those naps, bubble baths without interruption, time to write, time to craft.
I am ready to let more good stuff in, 2016. Let’s overflow 2016 with awesomeness.
Facebook is awash in “Gratitude Month” posts for November and Thanksgiving. It kind of makes me wanna barf a little, because gratitude should be an all year thing, not a seasonal thing, y’know? But better some gratitude in the world than none, I suppose.
I’ve been admittedly irritable lately. Financial concerns primarily are my annoyance as child support is about to end, yet there’s still school tuition to pay, health insurance, et cetera. I’m a speck worried about making ends meet, and I frankly think it’s ridiculously unfair that one parent is “off the hook” based on a birth date. I could use some gratitude so perhaps I can be less grumbly. I could also use a miracle or two.
I’m grateful my friends. We drink a lot of coffee. We laugh. We are sassy and snarky and happy together. Even though my new job puts me in a tough spot financially, it gives me much more room to see these wonderful people for meals and adventures. I love my bunch of weirdos, near and far.
I’m grateful for my fur children. The kitties and the doggies are always glad to see me. On a crummy day, they will always snuggle with me. Priceless.
I’m grateful for a warm house on this blustery cold day. It’s crazy to think that it was so warm outside just a few days ago that I had my windows open, and now the mountains in the distance are dusted with snow. It’s warm and I have my ginormous fleece hoodie on that could fit me and a few other people all at once.
Have I ever posted that I’m grateful for my slow cooker, because I totally am?! I made turkey with cranberries earlier this week, and last weekend made a chicken with salsa. I love my slow cooker.
I am grateful for this day. The sun is shining, the dogs are snoring on the floor, and it’s almost time to go to work, but I’m alive alive alive. I’m here. We’re here. This is good.
The leaves are beginning to turn.
There’s a chill in the morning air.
Pumpkin everything everything everything–where’s my latte?
My favorite time of year stretches from my birthday into November. Good time of year for walks outside, road trips with the windows down. A time of change as we transition into the cozy confines of winter.
i’m sitting in a hotel room, gazing out at the mountains that surround downtown Salt Lake City. i’m here for work, resting in the loveliest of hotels.
i am blessed, and i want to give thanks. i am doing work that i feel good about with a great organization. i have the best of friends looking out for me in the world. i have love and happiness and all the really great stuff that can’t be bought.
the road to this place in my life has been fucking hard, ya’ll. i am so pleased and happy to be in a good spot right now. my gratitude is enormous.
Ever wondered what you might do if you saw a big ol’ bear lumbering around your neighborhood in broad daylight?
Here’s precisely what I did:
Freak the hell out and text a bunch of people. Drive to new place. Text more people. Freak the hell out for a while longer. Contemplate moving away. Answer texts about why I did not take photos (BECAUSE IT WAS A BEAR! A BEAR!). Add bears to my list of fears along with clowns, aliens, dolls. Answer a few more texts (Yes, I am sure it was a bear). Drive back home warily on Bear Watch. Lock doors and peer out windows cautiously so any lurking bears can’t make eye contact with me.
I spent a lot of the winter sick as hell. Fevers, chills, coughs. Two or three feeling good days followed by two weeks of illness, repeat all winter long.
Better now, so that’s meant some time playing catch up. Catch up the laundry, hang up the stuff in my closet, put the books and books and books and more books back where they belong. Read all these magazines.
Change some stuff around. Embrace more woo-woo in my life because weird feels good. Let go of more of the uptight stuff, make space for what feels better.
New things in the works. Still purging, still modifying.
I am looking for those instances, expecting them, so when they arrive I will notice, remember.
I want to remember. I want to stow it away in a secret place in my mind, in my heart, so on a dark and lonely day, I can unfold the memory and feel it all over again…hear the laughter, feel the hugs, even recall the wiping away of tears…all of it, the magnitude, the “realness,” the vulnerability, and the joy so brilliant it illuminates a room.
I think it starts with allowing ourselves to show up as we really are, not who we want the world to see, but who we really are, a little ragged around the edges but still open to the possibility of wonder in the world. We have to believe it’s okay to be our quirky, strange, beautiful selves. There are times when we can be real, true, honest, and that’s when the magic unfurls…those precious minutes of being so alive, so present, that are so amazing I want to scoop them up and keep them for later.
I am giving myself permission to be alive, delicious, and loving far more often than ever before. I am ready for the magic. I will let down my guard and let it all roll in, decadent, divine. I will file the aliveness away, too, to call upon on a day when I am certain I’m unloved and alone so I can remember that is not always the case.