the final Bele Chere

So…final Bele Chere is coming up. Does anyone care? I don’t. Being an Asheville native, I remember when the festival was small and it had a very local feel to it. My youth orchestra group played on Church Street a couple summers in a row. My friends’ bands played on several stages. The crafters were from western NC. It was an intimate little summer celebration, a fun time to enjoy friends and food and music.
The festival grew over time into a giant beer swilling, funnel cake gorging behemoth as the years went by, attracting crowds of tourists from far away who wanted to party in Asheville. Local bands were replaced with big headliners. Local crafts were replaced with artisans from all over the place with high price tags. There was puke in the streets and people were pushing and shoving each other by 3 PM on the first day of the festival every year, drunk and overcrowded and angry. The festival grew into a sprawl that annoyed the local business owners who couldn’t function with the crowds and the shoplifters and the noise.
I don’t like it. I don’t go. I work downtown and make an effort to take the Friday that Bele Chere starts as a vacation day, and I stay away from downtown Asheville the whole weekend. I won’t regret missing out on the overpriced beer or the smell of urine in the summer heat.
Bye, Bele Chere. I remember when we could see the Urban Spelunkers or The Merle and walk around without worrying about getting mugged or trampled. That was long ago, but thanks for the memories.

that better be produce in your pocket

So it was a night of much rock.  I started my evening at the Orange Peel with local metal gods Ironside.  There was a great turnout, heads bangin’, fists in the air…and there were some younguns with perhaps the lamest mosh pit I’ve ever seen—they could only manage to throw themselves around for 15 seconds at a time before they had to stop.  Why, back when I was kid, we moshed for entire concerts non-stop!  Silly hooligans.  Anyhoooo, Ironside kicked ass as usual and they were a great start to the evening…and then it was off to Stella Blue for Southern Trespass, Blackheadz  and Crank County Daredevils.

Southern Trespass is a helluva lotta fun!! It’s just shame the audience wasn’t quite “loose” enough yet to give them the full enthusiasm they deserved.  You’ve gotta see Gordon from JFK’s Good People tattoo rockin’ out–with all that crazed energy, he was born to be onstage.

The Blackheadz from Atlanta, oh my gawd how I love them! I wish I’d known they were playing, I would’ve dragged out some newbies to introduce them to powerhouse rock punk funk soul insanity that they are.  They are freakin’ fantastic!  And I appreciated that they added in some old Johnny Prophet tunes (a previous incarnation of the band), particularly “I Like it Like That.”  Check out their myspace page and the tune “American Arrogance.”

And last but not least, the Daredevils…new guy on the drums, new songs in the lineup and just beer-spewing sweaty nasty rock, sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!  It’s been a long time since Crank County’s played their hometown, and the crowd was smashed up against the stage at Stella, body to body in a sweaty tangle, which in a lovely Jager-infused haze, I didn’t mind at all…until the verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry last song (an A+ cover of “Let It Bleed”), when one of the guys behind me pushed what better have been a squash from his garden into my backside, and shouted something about how he’d been “feelin’ me all night long.” BLAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! ICK POO BARF!  I scrambled out of that tangle to enjoy the rest of the song from the side of the stage, feeling violated, repulsed and generally just gross.  Earlier in the evening, some chick had felt me up in what appeared to be her routine from Xcapades or something, and I let it slide without freaking out too badly because the whole slutty girl on girl dancing thing has become so common—but don’t do it on me, ok?  And don’t rub my cleavage, thanks.  But the girl quickly sensed my ick factor and moved on, whereas our produce wielding man friend was looking for me when the show dispersed, spotted me and headed my way—don’t know if I’ve ever split so quick from anywhere.

Anyway, God bless local rock, support your Asheville bands!  Rawk on…

The birthday shindig

But wait…she doesn’t have a code name! This bday diva doesn’t have a code name!  Daisy. We’ll call her Daisy.

We honored our Daisy’s bday by throwing down far too many beverages at Scully’s, and it was damn fun.  When women get together away from home, away from work, the conversations that we have are insane: piercings and pole dancing and general oversharing.  I laughed and grinned so much my face hurt.

The most interesting part of the evening will not be published here, but will instead be tucked away for blackmail purposes, filed away…those of you who seem to think my blog is an intimate tell-all would be surprised to realize how little I actually tell in my little corner of cyberspace, how many secrets will never dance across your computer screen.  It’s in the vault, on lockdown, until it’s needed.

Happy birthday, Miss Daisy…you are so very awesomely cool, glad to count you as one of my posse.

U2 in 3D is so cool!

Rattle and Hum was such a cool movie experience (I saw it on opening night at Beaucatcher Cinemas back when Beaucatcher was the biggest and the best Asheville had to offer) that I couldn’t wait to see U2 in 3D.

If you enjoy U2, it is absolutely worth the $10.50 admission.  It’s like being at their concert with the best seats in the house but without the jostling and the concert-going drunk guy sloshing beer on your shoes.  It’s visually stunning, and the sound was surprisingly awesome—the opening riffs of With or Without You and Pride (in the Name of Love) literally made the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up.  I did some singing along and some dancing in my seat much to Minime’s horror.  The 3D effects are ample, so it seems like you’re right there beside Bono or you’re close enough to Larry to bang on the drum along with him during Love and Peace or Else.  It is interesting to note that even though you get insanely “close” to the band, you really don’t get too many sweaty facial zoom-ins like you do on the big screen at a real concert…perhaps someone decided I didn’t need to see if The Edge has crow’s feet or laugh lines?

It’s not the same as being there, sure,  but when the camera sweeps over the audience, it’s so packed, I don’t think I’d want to have been there in the first place.  It looked like it was miserably  crowded and hot, with security giving out cups of water to sweltering concert-goers by the stage.  If you want U2 without the drama of seeing a band that sells out arenas, check this movie out…you won’t have to pay to park, no one is trying to sell you $50 tshirts, no one will spill beer on you or puke near you, you’ll be able to actually see the band instead of craning your neck around the tallest person at the concert all night.  It was really neat, and I’m quite happy I went. 

Go while you can!  It’s only showing 2 times per day at Carmike in Asheville.

Got beer?

I stood in line on this gorgeous day at Highland Brewing with a couple hundred of my closest friends, waiting for the clock to strike 12:01.  We’d assembled as an elite group of India Pale Ale fans, seeking to purchase Imperial Kashmir, a special batch of Highland’s Kashmir IPA.  Imperial Kashmir is up for sale today only with less than 3000 bottles produced.  The Imperial brew has a 10.2% alcohol content and is in 22 ounce bottles for your drinking pleasure.

Everyone was prepared with cash and identification in hand, so the line moved along fairly quickly.  The line was still growing when we pulled out of the parking lot, IPA stowed safely in the trunk.

My Imperial Kashmir is in the fridge.  I won’t tell you how many bottles I bought, but it’s mine, mine, mine.  I would only split a bottle with one or two souls on the planet, and if you have to ask, you’re probably not worthy.

I haven’t cracked a bottle open yet.  I’m waiting for the cool of evening, the quiet of my house when MiniMe has gone to bed.  I will then take to the front porch, put my feet up and enjoy.