Tag: freak

Blech!

So this morning, I was returning a loaner child bright & early, so we could go and get the next loaner child (I was meant to have more kids, but it didn’t play out, so we borrow extras all the time!) for our day’s adventure.  I was running behind a little bit, given that loaner child number one and Minime were sleepy, grouchy and completely dragging ass.  Didn’t have time to feed them a proper breakfast, so I cruised through the McD’s drive thru (“No, you’re getting whatever’s 2 for $2, shush!”) to grab them some chow and some caffeine for me.  I ordered a bucket or a trough or a silo of the sacred and much needed Diet Dr. Pepper along with their breakfast and zoomed on down the road.  After throwing biscuits over my shoulder to the younguns, I poke the straw in and take a big gulp of OHMYGAWDTHISISNOTWHATIORDEREDGROSSSSSSS sweet tea.  I promptly spit most of it in the middle of the steering wheel, given that not only was it sweet tea which I do not drink, but it was still warm sweet tea, which ups the nasty ante about 110%.  What I didn’t spit on the steering wheel I managed to spit into every napkin McD’s gave us.  Blech! BLECH!

I don’t drink sweet iced tea.  Or unsweetened iced tea.  I’m sure I could lose my southern belle credentials over such an admission; I do, however, like grits, so I should be able to retain my standing.  Even though I don’t drink it, I’ve done enough time in food service that I’m told I make a lovely pitcher of sweet tea in my own home…and if it’s very sweet and very very very cold, I can take courtesy itty bitty micro sips of sweet tea if that’s what I’m served at someone else’s house.  But I surely can not drink it still warm when I was anticipating the fizzy goodness of a Diet Dr. Pepper bright and early on a Sunday morning.

I noticed on my road trip today, the middle of the steering wheel is still a touch sticky.  I wonder if I can sue McD’s and have them detail my car?  I’m going to call Joel Bieber right now…

TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF ALREADY!!!!!!!

Over lunch with some anonymous awesome divas today, a conversation came up about body image.  I have a friend who will not be seen in a swimsuit at the beach or the pool, ever.  The conversation went even further into strange territory when it was stated that the preference was to even stay partially dressed (long tshirt, whatever) whilst in, ahem, intimate moments. 

This is not a gender specific issue, body image, so I wanted to get out here on my blog and talk to everyone about it.  Put on your freakin’ swimsuit and enjoy the ocean!  There will always be someone thinner than you, there will always be someone heavier than you, who the hell cares, go have fun!  And as for those intimate moments, ummm, you’ve gotten far enough with someone that clothing is optional and probably just in the way, so just remove it all!

I don’t care if I wear a swimsuit at the beach, geez.  The only peril to that is blinding innocent bystanders when the sunlight reflects off my whiter than white skin.  If I waited until I had some “perfect” body, whatever that is, I’d never freakin’ get to go swimming!  I don’t want to miss out on a thing, and why would you?  In fact, I have more than one swimsuit in case one’s wet and I wanna go swim again!  Why would you want to skip the trip to the lake or the pool party and miss out on fun with friends and family?  They really don’t give a snot what you look like in your swimwear, I promise; they just wanna goof off and spend time with you.  I can’t imagine missing out on playing “mermaid” with Minime in the pool or not wave jumping out in the ocean with because I was self-conscious about my butt in a swimsuit.

As for your special getting freaky moments, strip!  In a fit of far TMI, I will tell you that I HATEHATEHATE to get cold, so in the summer with the A/C blowing, I like a little coverup if it’s time to get down, but if we can get it warm in here, it’s a free for all of paleness and tangled limbs.  Why? Because this is it, folks, this is all there is.  Today is all we have, right this minute, so you gotta accept who you are inside and out today.  Sure, you can wish your abs were less sticky outy, but today, they are what they are…do some crunches and get your freak on!  I hate to think that people are skipping intimacy with their loves because they feel funny about whether their boobs are too small or their ass is too big or their stomach is too round or their elbows are too pointy or I don’t even know what else.  We’re all human, we come in different shapes and shades and sizes, and who you are today, right this second, is completely strip-worthy to the one you love that loves you, too.

It’s not a beauty pageant, it’s real life.  I work with a guy who has such a way with the ladies, but on the surface, he’s just an average fellow—no movie star looks, no bling. There’s never a shortage of women in his life.  It’s not about his looks or his physique, though, it’s about confidence in himself.  He believes he’s a hottie from Hottieville, he projects this with ease and grace, and thus he is.  Believe, people, believe! I know I can’t make you see what you don’t want to see in yourselves, but dang!  This life we get is too short to be thinking you’re anything less than Da Bomb!

Take your clothes off already…in broad daylight, even! (disclaimer: please strip only in the privacy of your own home and not, say, at Waffle House or the office)  All you have is today…enjoy the hell out of it!

Gawd almighty, bring me a bottle o’ wine

I passed my first big exam today, hell yeah.  So bring me a bottle o’ wine, send flowers, because I worked f-ing hard and I deserve all that and more and you’ve been super lax on celebrating me as you should.

Appreciate the pep talks and encouragement so much.  You know how I am…I never assume that I’m gonna pass, but I never assume I’m gonna fail either…so I get all nervous and uncertain and, well, in between.   Even when I passed (90%!), I still had a hard time getting my head around it…I told someone I thought I was dreaming the whole damn thing and was gonna be sorely disappointed when the alarm clock’s ring ripped the illusion to bits.  But I really passed on the first try!

Next big exam has to be completed by mid-October but I’m not cracking a book today.  I’m goofing off around my blog and running a hot bubble bath and doing nothing.  Tomorrow I move right on to the next class, but today, yeah, I’ve earned the right to be a little lazy.

stp, a few pix from Charlotte show

so much fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have a ton of photos, but a lot of them are kinda blurry because I was bouncing around like I do.  My bro took some pix, too…

 

Scott Weiland during opening song Big Empty:

Scott, STP

 

Me and my baby bro—baby bro’s first ever photo appearance in the Kat Box; I’m the cute one:

me and my bro

 

STP, all but the drummer

STP in Charlotte

 

I was close enough to Scott Weiland to carry him off and make him a housepet, but I unselfishly left him onstage to share with all…

scott white shirt

 

and moi, a little tired after midnight, in a rare kat box appearance of my own, because i rock hardcore…

moi

 

it’s sunday & that means STP!

Stone Temple Pilots in Charlotte tonight!! Thank you Scott Weiland for not being in rehab or jail today!!

I’m psyched.  I’m driving baby bro down, and our seats are EXCELLENTLY excellent pre-sale seats.

It’s not time to go yet, but I’m kinda getting things organized.  It’s funny how differently I prepare to go see a show as compared to the olden days.  For example, I’ll go ahead and get some clothes out for work in the morning since I’ll be getting in kinda late tonight…back in the day, I would’ve instead been formulating reasons to call in sick tomorrow.  I would’ve selected my sturdiest badass footwear based on anticipated moshpit time, and now, I’m picking something that’s comfy to stand in for hours.  Of course, big venues like the one today won’t allow moshpits; they’ll throw you out because of the liability…oh but back in my youth, no one cared if we landed face first on the concrete or fell over chairs or whatever.

I’m excited!  When I bought the tickets, summer hadn’t even really kicked in yet, and the concert seemed a million years away, but it’s today!  I haven’t seen STP in about twelve years.  Last show I saw was when I was living in Virginia–wow, that was a long time ago, because I went with Minime’s dad, Mr. Kat 1.0, as one of the last things we ever did as a married couple.  Yeah, that’s been a lifetime ago…

I will not be wearing an STP shirt to the concert.  Scootster and I were discussing the dorkiness of wearing the band’s shirt to their show…it’s kind of a DUH! thing to do, because you’re obviously a fan or you wouldn’t be there in the first place.  Wearing their shirt is just overkill, trying too hard.  I do like concert shirts, though, but why the hell are they so damn pricey?  I’m not paying $40 for a tshirt, hell no…especially when I can get it off eBay for less some other day.

Happy Sunday, all!

Your Nose

I can’t believe you had a nose job.  Do you know what a regular person could do with that kind of money?  Good gawd, I could go on a week’s vacation, pay off a credit card, get a massage and throw one hell of a party, and I’d still have money to spare for what you’ve spent on something that didn’t freakin’ need fixing!

I was looking at our high school yearbook photos just last week at Scootster’s house when I was drinking all his beers…you were cute then, dorky cute, hadn’t quite grown into your calm, confident sense of self yet.  And as an adult, 4 out of 4 people that I surveyed told me they thought your nose was just fine and that you were a good lookin’ guy.

Ah, but now it’s your old nose.  Your old nose was fine.  We must talk about it in the past tense.  Your old nose.  Now you have a nice new nose.  I wonder if I’d still recognize you…I’ve known you since we were Minime’s age, I wonder if my brain can wrap itself around the idea of your new feature–I have the photo you took of yourself on the plane last year, such a good photo, but would I know you today?

It’s just weird for me to think about.  I like to see the familiar angles of my friends’ faces as the years pass.  I take comfort in that familiarity.  And you chose to change that, your choice of course, your call to make and really not my business, but it’s so strange to me, hard for me to understand it.  I don’t choose my friends because of their appearances or their checkbooks or the cars they drive, so in that light, you are my friend no matter how old or new your nose…I send my love, I wish you a speedy recovery and when all’s well, I want to see.  I hope the change brings you confidence and peace.

fresh breath crisis?

I was at Sam’s filling up the KatMobile for a road trip.  The guy on the other side of the pump was going through his Jeep at breakneck speed, looking for something, looking, looking…I heard a cuss word or two as he kept searching.

Finally, I hear a cleared throat and a “Hi, excuse me, do you have any gum?”

“Gum?” I ask, obviously perplexed, raising an eyebrow at Jeep Guy.  I’ve been approached for money, food and lots of other entertaining things while pumping gas, but this was a first.  “Is it a gum emergency?”

“Yes, it is,” he replied. “Is this your first time in a gum emergency?”

I said it was, and grabbed the minty fresh gum from the cup holder in my car.  I extended the whole pack, thinking he might need the whole thing to MacGyver together some sort of world-saving device, but no, he just took one piece and thanked me profusely before zooming away in his Jeep.

So now I’m left to wonder what sort of fresh breath crisis lends itself to asking a stranger at a gas pump for gum?  Hot date? Job interview?  Sipping vodka on your lunch break?  Sneaking out and eating a double Whopper then going home to your vegan wife who thinks you’re vegan, too?  I’m so curious!  At any rate, whoever you are, Jeep Guy, I hope all was well once your gum emergency was thwarted.

I Woke Up Needing Validation

I woke up very unlike myself.  I woke up needing praise, needing validation, needing an atta girl and there was none to be found.  I woke up needing to be told I’m the awesomest person in the world.  And at 5:30 AM, there was no one around to do that.

Sigh.

So I got on the treadmill and climbed hills for a few minutes, thinking a little accomplishment early in the day would be a great beginning.  I climbed til my ass hurt, but it didn’t do much for me.  I even soaked in a hot bubble bath post-treadmill, and a bubble bath usually fixes everything, but…no.

On the surface, all is well.  Underneath it all, I am unsettled.  Too many things are up in the air and I prefer to be in control, so I think maybe that’s where the nervousness and neediness come into play this morning.  As I sip my requisite Diet Coke, I’m trying to make a mental list of what I am in control of and what I know I’m doing well to see if I can bring myself back to more comfortable footing…

Graduation

My mom got her first college credential last night, crossing the stage in her cap and gown at the Thomas Wolfe Auditorium.  While my mom and I don’t always see things eye to eye in the daily matters of life, I have nothing but pride for her accomplishment.  It’s really cool that she wanted to go to college and see it through at this point in her life as a mother and a grandmother, as a working woman and a wife.  She graduated with honors of course; that’s probably where I get my “is there something higher than an A+ that I could work toward?” ethic in school.  Good job, Mom, bravo!

My mind wandered all over the place during the ceremony.  When my brother wasn’t trying to get me to punch him (I had to scoot over a seat so he’d stop poking me with his elbow on purpose), I was thinking about crossing that same stage a couple times myself.  My high school graduation was in that auditorium.  I remember they made me wear white dress shoes with our pastel graduation gown: ack, white shoes AND a pastel gown, offend the girl in black in every way possible!!!  The shoes were slick on the bottom since they were new; I was worried I was going to bust my clumsy ass (being clumsy and lacking grace has been a lifelong trait, nothing new) in front of everyone, but I made it across the stage and back to my seat safely.  At the end of the ceremony, we all tossed our caps high.  I left mine in the auditorium, no interest in trying to figure out which was mine in the mayhem when I just wanted out of there.  The next afternoon, I went to work at my job in the music and video department of PharMor, and my manager handed me my cap–it had a big note on it from the class clown, such a smartass even to this day: “Hey, found this in my bed this morning…”  What a weasel.  I thought it was funny as hell until I realized my manager thought my classmate really did find it in his bed.

I crossed the same stage again when I got my first college degree in my twenties.  It had been a long, challenging road to get that degree.  I was divorced.  I worked full time, went to school full time and took care of my baby girl in the hours that remained of the day.  I slept very little, more than likely fostering the beginnings of the sleep problems I still have today.  Couldn’t tell you how many times I studied for a test with a baby on my shoulder, usually a sick wailing baby since Minime had about 300 million ear infections when she was tiny…by the time I finished school, she was a sweet little toddler who shouted out “That’s my mommy!” when I stepped up on the stage.  The happy voice of a proud little girl made every part of that hard educational journey worthwhile. 

I know that everyone who crossed the stage last night had challenges and hardships and probably times where they wanted to throw in the towel, drop out of college and forget about it.  It’s above and beyond awesome that they stuck with it, Mom included.  May you all reach every goal you set out to achieve!

this afternoon…

…was one of those kickass afternoons where you get so much done you wonder why you even bothered to show up the rest of the week if all you really needed was today.

It was like I was all jacked up on Red Bull and iced coffee, but without the Red Bull and iced coffee.  I got things scheduled, got issues resolved and actually (gasp!) used the telephone! 

For those that know my work style, I never use the phone if I can help it–my office desk phone ends up in “out” mode for days because I forget to turn it back on, and I like the out mode: straight to voicemail, no ringydingy.  I’m an email or in-person kinda chick for work things.  I either want it in writing, or I want to see you face to face.  I hate playing phone tag! But today, in my hard-working good cheer, I used the phone, and I used it more than once: shocking!

I crossed items off to do lists.  I worked off the tasks on the post-it notes all over my desk.  I made new lists.  I smiled at people.  I visited a few folks and bounced around finishing things.  It was like the tidal wave of energy to finish projects you get right before you go on vacation…only I’m not going on vacation.  Maybe tomorrow at work will be just like a vacation since I was a whirlwind this afternoon… (a girl can dream!)