It’s frustrating when you can see from the bystander’s point of view 608 different ways to resolve a problem…but yet you can’t do a thing about it. Arg.
I’m a fixer; I like to fix things, resolve issues, make changes, move ahead, find happiness…and it makes me sad to know my friends are struggling and that I can’t do a damn thing to help, not one damn thing. I’ll continue to send the good thoughts since it’s all I can do…
Went camping yesterday. I’m pretty easy to camp with, I think. Don’t care where we go, don’t care what we eat, don’t care what spot we pick, don’t give a crap where I put up my tent. All I care about is will the wine bottle fit in the cupholder on my camping chair (no, not a cup or a glass, the whole flippin’ bottle?!), and once that’s settled, let’s go!
Campfires should be mandatory therapy for the stressed out. With nothing but the sounds of the river and the nocturnal critters in the background, gazing into the campfire is meditation. It’s relaxing and calming…throw in some dark chocolate s’mores and it’s nearly nirvana. The crackle and pop of a campfire in good company is something I’ve been away from for too long.
I was first to wake this morning. Waking up out in the woods is pretty special…chipmunks running all around, the air is clean and the day is new and unspoiled. No cell phone signal to interfere with the quiet, no tv, nowhere to be but right there in the moment. I took a walk and enjoyed the silence, collected my thoughts in a way I haven’t done in a while. Really good stuff…
I consider myself pretty darn blessed to have friendships that span more than a couple decades at this point. It’s terrific to be able to be 100% yourself, not self-conscious at all, in the company of people who accept you for the goofball you are. That is so cool, such a gift. I feel lucky to have those friends in my life. Kisses, ya’ll.
When you’ve had enough…really had enough…you know where the spare key is.
Yesterday, my dad (Dad the Bounty Hunter) and my coworkers found ourselves at Wolverine Paintball battling it out with a rival business. If you’ve never played paintball before, go! It’s hilarious and stress-relieving and exercise all at once. I must give a shoutout to Anthony (funny and patient with the newbies!), John and all the staff at Wolverine for being super friendly and really helpful to everyone in our group.
We played on two different courses: the woods and speedball. In the woods, it’s an army-style battle, hiding in the brush, scampering from tree to tree in hopes of sniping a member of the enemy team before they get you! Dressed in camo, I belly crawled, hid in the brush, dove behind trees and shot the hell out of the other team and got the snot shot out of me as well. Laying in wait in the woods gets to be pretty scary—with your protective face mask on, the sound of your own breath is amplified, and your peripheral vision is limited, so hunkering down in the weeds, waiting for the enemy to pass by, my heart was racing and I was sweating and paranoid that they’d sneak up on me from behind and shoot me in the back…in other words, it was freakin’ awesome!!
The speedball course is where I got all my bruises. I considered posting photos of the bruises here, but they have all morphed into such giant purple hideousness that I don’t want to gross you out online (but I’ll be happy to show you in person!). The speedball field has obstacles but is clear of trees and brush, so basically, you know where your enemy is, it’s just a matter of shooting them before they shoot you as you move from obstacle to obstacle. Where the woods course involves patience, the speedball course involves a mad rush of adrenaline as the paint goes flying every which way!
Everyone had a tremendously good time…how could you not? You get to run around and play army or A-Team or whatever like you did when you were a kid, you get to blast people with paint and you laugh and yelp and forget about every stupid thing that was stressing you out before you got there.
My birthday is coming up, and I have to say I am truly torn between going roller skating and playing paintball…can I do both?????
(go see the gang at Wolverine and raise hell!)
One of my favorite coworkers is moving away; The Bean has been offered a job that she couldn’t pass up, and so she’s outta here! Can’t blame her, but I hate it. It’s such a treat to have coworkers you actually like to see, office buddies that make the whole thing a little more tolerable. The Bean has an optimistic outlook and good sense of humor, and our office could use heaps of that–we’ll all miss her so much!
Friday night we had a little farewell gathering for The Bean over karaoke. As many songs as we sang alone or as “The Wild Girls,” as we were dubbed by the DJ, it might as well have been our own private party. Our posse paid tribute to Billy Idol, Pat Benatar, Wham!, Frank Sinatra, The Clash and everyone in between as we raised our glasses and raised hell.
I have my own repertoire of songs I will sing in public, drunk or completely sober–liquid courage is not required for me to do karaoke, as I’m ready to make an ass of myself 24/7. I have my karaoke standards that are easy and fun, like “Love Shack” and “Tainted Love.” Since it was a special evening, I decided to broaden the horizons and select something I would normally never sing outside my car. I opted for the Violent Femmes’ “Add It Up,” the little ditty that asks “Why can’t I get just one kiss…” and ponders “Why can’t I get just one screw?” and goes on to explore “Why can’t I get just one fuck?” It was a true crowd pleaser, but whether I’d do it again depends entirely on the crowd, really–I wouldn’t want to roll that one out at an office social or anything (though I have writhed on the floor singing “Like A Virgin” for an office event!).
I hope The Bean enjoyed her shindig. I know I did, and her beau was a freakin’ hoot and a half! The Bean’s got some packing to do and some loose ends to wrap up, but before you know it, she’ll have left Western NC for a bigger city and new adventures. I’ll miss The Bean and her silliness, as well as the wisdom she’s shared with me along the way. She is one cool chickie, and I wish her a blessing for every time she laughs in a day. I’ll miss you—-good luck, good things, keep smiling and sharing your spirit everywhere you go, girl!
…if i love ice cream so much, why doesn’t it love me back?
Since I was preggers with Minime more than a decade ago, certain foods have decided to longer be my friend. The dairy group as a whole broke up with me pretty much. I refuse to let it go: it’s not you, it’s me, we’ll figure something out!
I can’t have plain ol’ milk without getting heinously sick. When I was in Jamaica, they had this awesome cold porridge stuff with oats and nuts and fruit and they covered the whole thing in milk. I ate this delicious stuff every morning I was there! And I got sick every day I was there after my porridge, agonizing stomach cramps galore… Of course on day 3 or so, my then hubby Mr. Kat 2.0 suggested I stop eating the magic porridge for breakfast. I suggested he piss off and stop bossing me around because I was completely willing to trade a bowl full of truly wonderful yum for an hour of misery.
I can do a little yogurt, sometimes even a little cheese…but ice cream is different…
Ice cream I can eat in moderation. “Moderation” tends to mean that I shouldn’t eat the entire container of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food for dinner. Moderation is something I’m not good at—the way I live tends to be pedal to the metal, go for it; moderation is for wimps, wusses and nancyboys. Really, to avoid the drama and pain, I shouldn’t have ice cream at my house at all…
…But somehow, I magically had this big ol’ container of Moose Tracks in my freezer. I don’t know how it got there. Magic, I guess, because surely I’m not so stupid that I would buy something that causes me pain??!! I decided I wanted the little chocolatey bits out of the Moose Tracks last night, so I set about digging into the container and excavating the chocolate out when I hit the motherlode: my spoon hit a ribbon of fudgey goodness so wide and wonderful that I felt giddy. I knew right then and there that the entire ribbon of fudge was mine, but I would have to dig it out…and it only made sense to eat the ice cream along the way to get to the fudge. The search for the ribbon of fudgey goodness took an evil turn as I ate more ice cream than one would call “moderate…” I got it! I got the entire ribbon out, extracted the frozen chocolate happiness just as the stomach pain kicked in…oh helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. I really couldn’t decide if I was going to barf in the freezer (as all of this is taking place standing up in the kitchen, freezer door ajar) or if I was going to double over in pain from the gut-wrenching cramps on the floor right there.
I decided to stagger to bed, given that I should’ve been in bed maybe an hour before that anyway. And just before I dropped off to sleep in the fetal position of agony, I thought about how much I liked digging the chocolate fish out of Phish Food so much better than I like the stuff in Moose Tracks…
I told you yesterday I’m hooked on myspace surveys. So here’s one more! Yay!
50 THINGS YOU DIDNT KNOW ABOUT ME UNTIL YOU READ THIS:
1, What color is your toothbrush?
purple i think
2, Name one person that made you smile today?
chiquita and the prospect of nkotb
3, What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
working and drinking copious amounts of red bull
4, What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
working, now taking a wee break…i’ve heard i’m entitled to a couple of those a day! who knew?
5, What is your favorite candy bar?
Dagoba Eclipse
6, Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yes, and it only affirmed to me that I’m waaaaaaaaaaaaay hotter than a stripper.
7, What is the last thing you said aloud?
ROCK ON!
8, What is the best ice cream flavor?
i like most things chocolate that my dear friends ben & jerry put their name on
9, What was the last thing you had to drink?
red bull
11, What was the last thing you ate?
cherries! it’s cherry time o’ year, get ’em while the gettin’s good before they’re gone
12, Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Nope
13, The last sporting event you watched?
roller derby
14, What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
plain but even better with plain m&ms mixed in
15, Who is the last person you sent a message on myspace?
errrrrrrr perhaps ricardo allejandro of the high mountains
16, Ever go camping?
yes, and i just recently taught minime and her friend how to properly pee in the woods
17, Do you take vitamins daily?
a few
18, Do you go to church every Sunday?
nope
19, Do you have a tan?
ummmm not so much. i tend to be casper-like year round.
20, Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
depends on the mood, but if you’re gonna whip up a super bad ass fresh stir fry, i’d probably pick that over pizza most days.
21, Do you drink your soda with a straw?
i really like bendy straws, but i’m out of them right now. i do periodically poke myself in the eye with straws on accident because i’m a dumbass.
22, What did your last text message say?
BITCH!
23, What are you doing tomorrow?
working
25, Look to your left, what do you see?
a lot of stuff i have to do
26, What color is your watch?
i don’t wear a watch. please don’t give me anymore watches as gifts, unless you’re flavor flav and i guess you can give me a giant clock on a chain in that case
27, What do you think of when you hear Australia?
men at work livin’ in a land down under
29, Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
drive thru
30.
What is your favorite number?
5
31, Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone?
scoot
32, Any plans today?
work and homework
33, How many states have you lived in?
4 i believe…
34, Biggest annoyance right now?
people who push my buttons who won’t just go away quietly
35, Last song listened to?
Buckcherry “Dead Again” and was i totally busted in traffic rockin’ out when mr. oddstar pulled up beside me this morning. wanna sing along with me???? wait for me, darlin’, I can’t wait to see you, everyone’s losing their mind again…don’t fall in love that’s the line they will feed you, if i can’t have you i’ll be dead again, dead again…
36,Can you say the alphabet backwards?
slowly
37, Do you have a maid service clean your house?
i am the maid
38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time.barefoot!
39, Are you jealous of anyone?
not at all
40, Is anyone jealous of you?
everyone, probably you!
41, Do you love anyone?
i’m chock full of love
42, Do any of your friends have children?
yep and some of my friends ARE children 🙂
43, What do you usually do during the day?
work, pretend to work, work some more, pretend some more
44, Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
hate requires more effort than i wish to put out for those not worthy o’ my love
45, Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily?
i prefer “HOWDY!” or “heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!”
47, Do you like cats?
i suppose i must since they are taking over my household…i must respect the feline overlords
49,Have you ever been to Six Flags?
no
50,How did you get your worst scar?
worst scar. hmm. well. there are the lovely marks from a decade ago from totin’ around minime as she grew from a tadpole to slightly smaller than a breadbox, or ooooo there’s the imprint of where the gauze was all embedded in my hand when i broke my arm a few years ago, kinda gross…
happy wednesday, all…
…OMG! NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK TICKETS GO ON SALE FRIDAY FOR AN OCTOBER CHARLOTTE SHOW!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DONNIE, YOU’RE MY FAVORITE!!! I’LL BE LOVING YOU FOREVER!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love myspace surveys, those ridiculous getting to know you things…why do I do them? Because often I get so busy I can’t check in with all my friends one by one, so it’s just a silly way to stay in touch with everyone all at once, just goofy and fun. But what about everyone who isn’t on myspace?!?!?! OMG! How will you know what I’m doing right this second!!! So! Here’s a survey now…
Does the last person who put their arms around you mean anything to you?
no, I randomly hug strangers on the street because i went to warren wilson and have a compulsion to hug people (ok, actually as a result of the non-stop hugathon that was my warren wilson experience, i have all these space issues and have a hug aversion!)
Last person you texted?
the scootster
Who has your myspace password?
sometimes, not even me!
Honestly, how many people have you completely fallen for in your life?
ummmmmmmmmm, wow. that’s a hard question that i shall plead the fifth on right this instant because it would require like a 3 hour explanation.
What were you doing at 11:00 AM?
getting ready for a meeting
Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you talk to 24/7?
not 24/7, that’s hyper-needy
What are you doing tomorrow?
workinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
Are you ticklish?
in spots but really that just makes me think of that horrible video of setting tickle me elmo on fire.
What are you listening to?
pantera
How is your hair?
sticky outy
How is your heart lately?
same as its been for a while
Name something that made you frown today?
they were out of the salad dressing i wanted at lunch. otherwise, i’m not so much a frowner as a scowler. a scowl and a frown are totally different.
What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
water
Who was the last person you said “i love you” to ?
minime
What color is your phone?
silver and black
What makes you mad?
ummmm, being manipulated, game-playing and button-pushing
What do you spend most of your money on?
bills
Who was the last person to call you?
ummmmmmmmmmmm, let’s see…carole
Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
if i f-ing want to, you aren’t the boss of me
How long does it take for you to take a shower?
i dunno since i’m the queen of the bubble bath
When was the last time you cried?
dunno
Do you like the smell of gasoline?
what the hell kind of question is that?
Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you?
sure, can you blame them?? but not lately
Do you have any obsessions right now?
i think a lot about chocolate chip cookies
Where were you last night?
working from home
Do you have plans today?
working at work, and working at home
Do you like who you are, as a person?
hell yeah i do, i’m the bomb diggity
Is there one thing that is on your mind constantly?
Yes, there is, but that’s nunya.
Have you talked to a complete meany today?
i work with a whole herd of ’em
Are you wearing socks?
yes
Do you regret something you did yesterday?
i don’t do regrets
Do you have anything in your pockets right now?
no
In the past week have you gotten sick?
headache but not sick
In the past week have you gotten your hair cut?
no
Did you give anyone a dirty look today?
nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i’m too freakin’ nice for my own good
Has someone disappointed you recently?
yes
Are you comfortable answering personal questions?
uhhh, sure, why do you ask? is that a new scarf you’re wearing? how are you? how’ve ya been?
Do/did you do good in school?
i must! it’s a compulsion
What are you wearing on your feet?
work type shoes
If you could pack up and move, would you?
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm under the right circumstances, yep, i’d go just about anywhere in the world, yes indeedy
Do you always get along with your siblings?
when i’m not picking his pocket—damn, that pissed him off!
Relationship Status?
null
Do you hate your last boyfriend/girlfriend?
no i don’t really do hate either
When is the last time you took a nap?
sunday while studying!
Do you only drink bottled water?
nah, that’s stupid
What are you listening to right now?
you just asked me that, but now it’s danzig
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
no one’s called since the last time you asked
To text you?
stop repeating questions it freaks me the hell out
To send you a Myspace message?
hmmm. The Bean?
What’s on your mind most today?
nunya nunya nunya
Something that happened today that made you angry?
nothing really
Are you happier when your single or in a relationship?
i’m happy all the time, really, it’s annoying!
Did you have chicken pox?
yup
Have you dated anyone that wasn’t good to you at times?
unfortunately, yes
Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
i stifle it down because that’s totally healthy and normal, right?
How will you spend your next birthday?
i hope you’ll buy me stuff and give me cake and take care of me like you’re supposed to, ya bunch of freakin’ weasels…september 5!
Do you wear makeup?
nope, i wear sunscreen and that’s about the only necessity i roll with on a daily basis
Are you missing someone?
you bet…some living and some not.
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. hmmmm. yeah, i guess. but not a third, fourth, fifth, sixth or seventh chance!