today

It’s been a hectic few days, a whole lot more work than one should have to do from Sunday to just a few minutes ago…but I’m done.  I’ve ordered takeout for dinner, I’m kicking off my shoes and putting on fuzzy ridiculous cozy pjs to greet the delivery driver.

I needed something today that I didn’t get, something free yet irreplaceable and one of a kind.  Oh well.  We can’t make other people do what we want them to do.  I suppose there’s always tomorrow.

What I did get today surprised me.  I won’t go into it at length because that’s private and I share a whole lot less than you might think, despite this forum of oversharing we call the Kat Box.  I will be generic and say I got an apology of sorts and a clearing of the conscience statement out of the blue today, one I never expected to get.  I didn’t think I was owed an apology in this instance–we all weren’t on our best behavior, I suppose–and I will say that it was so out of the blue that I cried.  I’m not a boo-hoo type of girl at all, but there was some relief to a weight that I didn’t even know was still burdening me after all this time…and the relief was so welcome in a semi-shitty day that I just put my head down on the desk and cried for a good five minutes.  I’ll clarify here and say this apology of sorts wasn’t exactly an olive branch, wasn’t exactly a mending of broken fences, but it helped clear the air and that is enough to be meaningful. 

Never assume you know what someone else is thinking, let them tell you when they’re ready.

And so, with that, having not gotten what I wanted/needed today, I did get something else completely different out of this day, and that’s good enough.  That’s good enough.

my very special friends

The photos I took at my own birthday soiree weren’t all that great, I’m told.  Everyone is all blurry and obviously the camera angle is all crooked…and yeah, yeah, I’ve heard that I must have been so sloshed to take such horrible pictures.

It’s truth time.  It’s time to come clean about those photos, time to come clean about my friends in those photos.  I can’t be silent about this anymore.

Here’s the 411, I hope you can handle the reality, it’s pretty harsh: those photos, all those blurry photos I took from my birthday party…you need to stop making fun of them right now. 

The facts are not that I was so sloshed I couldn’t take a proper photo; instead, the cold truth is that all my friends are blurry around the edges.  That’s right:  All my friends are blurry.  Some of my friends are even askew and off center.  So what?  I’m ok with that!  There was nothing wrong with me or my camera at my birthday party, and darn it, there’s nothing wrong with my friends, my blurry fuzzy hard to recognize friends.  Blurry people are people, too, with feelings, hopes and dreams!  I won’t have anymore blurry bashing; if you can’t be open minded enough to accept the blurry people in my life, you just need to move on, man, move on…

a survey, why not!

Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
wow. i don’t even have an answer for that. fuck.
If you could go back and change one thing, what would it be?
not a thing, it all made me who i am today
Name of your first grade teacher?
mrs case

What do you really want to be doing right now?
getting another neck rub would be lovely

What did you want to be when you grew up?
author

How many colleges did you attend?
a bunch so far, one now, surely more to come

Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
because it was at the top of the pile

Last thought before going to sleep last night?
i wonder if i drink colloidal silver if it will make me safe from vampires and werewolves. (hey, you asked. and what do you think? i think it’s one of the best ideas i’ve had in ages!)

What errand/chore do you despise?
i do them all, but laundry seems the most futile, because unless you do the laundry naked, you’re making more dirty laundry while you’re washing the dirty laundry.  it’s an endless horrible cycle.

Get up early or sleep in?
how’s about i just loll about in the cozy nest that is my bed and entertain guests bearing breakfast foods?

What is your favorite cartoon character?
eduardo from foster’s home for imaginary friends

Have you found real love yet?
real love was a song by jody watley. and a song by the doobie brothers.  (see how deft i am at subject changing?!)

When did you first start feeling old?
when i had the option to go out a couple weeks ago and all i wanted to do was get in my pjs and watch a movie all alone and fall asleep
What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
a headache from all those people in wal-mart comas…they have their carts sideways in the aisle and they are standing there, mouths open, unable to make a freakin’ selection because there are too many damn options for the simple-minded.

Beach or lake?
either if i can enjoy them at night, please

Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
I think it’s something I’m not good at, so I think I probably shouldn’t do it anymore.  I should take up other hobbies, like maybe macrame or squaredancing,  and leave marriage for those stronger than I.

Favorite movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about?
now, if i told you, everyone would find out, now wouldn’t they?  i am semi embarassed at how much i loved brad pitt as tristan in legends of the fall.  i believe chiquita and i ate an entire cheesecake while pondering and reflecting on the glory of tristan.

What’s your drink?
i like jager shots nice & cold, and i like cape cods.  and anything that you buy and put in front of me.

Who from high school would you like to run into?
i’d kinda like to see mikey of mikey and mike, since i’ve seen mike lately.  haven’t seen mikey since school.

What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
static so i can listen to my mp3 player

Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
neither really

Grey’s Anatomy or The Office?
the office on dvd—i don’t watch my tv on a regular basis, so dvd’s good

Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
that i wish i could take back, hmmm…i just wish i hadn’t been baited into losing my temper so many times.  i knew the game, but freakin’ got suckered into a rage too many times.

Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work?
no one sits across from me at work.  i am all alone.  i am an island.  i am a lone wolf.

What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
i would like to have Glenn Danzig feed me grapes and pet my head and maybe he knows the words to crystal ship, he could sing to me.

Indoors or outdoors?
outdoors at night–just about to go outside and listen to the rain

Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
it has been crashed into, i am not the crasher but the crashee, you see

Last book you read?
something about project management

Do you have a teddy bear?
nope

Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
in the shower. well, in someone else’s shower. i was in a hurry to get the hell outta there.
Somewhere in California you’ve never been and would like to go?
to visit don’s new nose

At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
at this point, neither.  i’d like to just work with what i’ve got for now, thanks.

How old are you?
too old to be answering surveys, but that doesn’t stop me from oversharing.

soccer time!

WOOHOO! It’s soccer time again! I am co-captain of my team and, what would you call it, captain of the captains for our league?  I dunno, whatever.  I’m so freakin’ excited to play again.  I don’t play anywhere near as well as I used to when I was a younger thang, but man, I just love to get out there and get all sweaty and laugh and fall down a lot.

lyrics

Pepper from the Butthole Surfers (and could there be a more fun name for a band?!)

I don’t mind the sun sometimes
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and sugary
And softly spoken lies…

i think you know all the words…

…i think you were just too bashful to sing ’em, but i’d sing with you any ol’ time…

 

Before you slip into unconsciousness
I’d like to have another kiss
Another flashing chance at bliss
Another kiss, another kiss

The days are bright and filled with pain
Enclose me in your gentle rain
The time you ran was too insane
We’ll meet again, we’ll meet again

Oh tell me where your freedom lies
The streets are fields that never die
Deliver me from reasons why
You’d rather cry, I’d rather fly

The crystal ship is being filled
A thousand girls, a thousand thrills
A million ways to spend your time
When we get back, I’ll drop a line

~Crystal Ship, The Doors

Let’s Do It All Again!

Yesterday was the funnest full day of fun-osity I’ve had in forever!

Paintball at Wolverine.  Minime, Dad the Bounty Hunter, Baby Bro, Vernie Sue, Miss Rosey, and Ricardo Allejandro of the High Mountains all joined forces with me to be Team Hardcore for the day—-the members of Team Hardcore may vary, but we always kick ass.  Yesterday, we faced off against a big bachelor party all decked out in camo; I offered to put the groom to be in a ditch and just shoot him over and over until he learned to thank me for it to teach him what married life is like, but he declined.   They outnumbered us, yes, but they grossly underestimated my mad skills as a belly crawling sniper on the woods course. We OWNED them.

For the evening, a new group of friends gathered thanks to the party coordinating efforts of T.  We dined at Yoshida’s and many, many, many drinks were purchased in my honor.  White Russian, strawberry daquiri, sake, Jager bomb, kamikaze, some kind of purple potion thing o rama and I don’t even know what else.  How I woke today on my glorious 3 hours of sleep without barfing or crying or both I don’t know!  We karaoked into the night, and I will stick to the agreement that what happens at Yoshida’s stays at Yoshida’s (Rock Star, if you have photos of me crawling, I want them destroyed!).

So much fun was had yesterday!  I smiled so much my face hurts today.  Thanks to all my wonderful friends–our goofy time together is the best gift ever.

birthday

Good birthday so far.  Got my first birthday kind thoughts in my email inbox at 12:12 AM (yes, I know, I shoulda been sleeping, tell me something I don’t already know), and it’s been all good since, but I have been so well celebrated with food that I might explode!  Gawd bless T for bringing my favorite juice smoothie AND a bendy straw this morning.  Warm cookies.  Breakfast casserole.  Haven’t even gotten into the banana split fixin’s I was generously gifted with today, and dinner awaits, too.  I’m so thrilled at being thought of this year, just giddy about it.  Karaoke and paintball tomorrow…come one, come all, let me shoot at you and sing horribly off key (but with enthusiasm) to you…