Tag: apology

The Lost Art of the Apology

It’s hard to get a real apology these days. Sometimes you’ll get the backhanded variety, like “I’m sorry your feelings are hurt.” That’s really just as bad as no apology at all.

I used to hate to apologize but decided in most cases, I’d rather be the one to make the move to heal the hurt than walk around wounded or wounding others. An apology can build bridges…sometimes.

Just because you give an apology doesn’t mean it will be accepted. I was a realllllllllllll asshole to someone in college. I was 18 or 19 and had the social finesse of a bulldozer. I was a complete jerk to a very kind person. When I realized later how dreadful I’d been, I tried to apologize, because I never meant to be hurtful. He refused to accept my apology. We are not pals.

Other times, either saying or hearing a heartfelt apology has changed the course of everything for the better. Honest words, no BS, no ego, can soothe, heal. Being genuinely sorry is meaningful. It just seems like in today’s world, folks don’t want to say “sorry;” instead, they just want to be right.

today

It’s been a hectic few days, a whole lot more work than one should have to do from Sunday to just a few minutes ago…but I’m done.  I’ve ordered takeout for dinner, I’m kicking off my shoes and putting on fuzzy ridiculous cozy pjs to greet the delivery driver.

I needed something today that I didn’t get, something free yet irreplaceable and one of a kind.  Oh well.  We can’t make other people do what we want them to do.  I suppose there’s always tomorrow.

What I did get today surprised me.  I won’t go into it at length because that’s private and I share a whole lot less than you might think, despite this forum of oversharing we call the Kat Box.  I will be generic and say I got an apology of sorts and a clearing of the conscience statement out of the blue today, one I never expected to get.  I didn’t think I was owed an apology in this instance–we all weren’t on our best behavior, I suppose–and I will say that it was so out of the blue that I cried.  I’m not a boo-hoo type of girl at all, but there was some relief to a weight that I didn’t even know was still burdening me after all this time…and the relief was so welcome in a semi-shitty day that I just put my head down on the desk and cried for a good five minutes.  I’ll clarify here and say this apology of sorts wasn’t exactly an olive branch, wasn’t exactly a mending of broken fences, but it helped clear the air and that is enough to be meaningful. 

Never assume you know what someone else is thinking, let them tell you when they’re ready.

And so, with that, having not gotten what I wanted/needed today, I did get something else completely different out of this day, and that’s good enough.  That’s good enough.