Category: Uncategorized

we’re talkin’ Santa ’round here tonight……..and who better to sing about santa than brian setzer?  Zat You, Santa Claus live… (tell Santa I’ve been good this year and deserve every little thing on my list, oh yes I do)

and in case i haven’t mentioned lately how much i friggin’ love brian setzer, let me tell you…MAN, I FRIGGIN’ LOVE BRIAN SETZER!   love his rockabilly stuff, love his big band stuff, i friggin’ love brian setzer.  Drive Like Lightning, Crash Like Thunder  (brian and that gretsch guitar are one, it’s a beautiful thing)

 

Ambiguous

Open to two or more interpretations, often intended to mislead.

As in:

His last five sentences in a row were ambiguous, each more vague than the last, leaving Kat to bang her head repeatedly against the nearest wall in frustration.

Common synonyms and related words include unclear, fuzzy, perplexing.

Antonyms include clear, specific, definite.

Kat likes the antonyms best.

 

In my office, I’m the coordinator for sponsoring children for the holidays through the Buncombe County Foster Care Association.  In an especially lean year financially for all charities, this agency like many others is overwhelmed with demand for assistance, but not overwhelmed with donations.  If you can, sponsor a kid from this agency or any other worthwhile agency…be Santa so even in the toughest of situations, these children can still believe in magic and wishes and dreams that come true.  When we lose our belief in fairy tales and Santa and flying reindeer, we’re growing up and we lose or stifle that part of ourselves that let’s us believe anything’s possible—-don’t let kids in need grow up any faster than they already have to, keep the magic of Santa going. 

And if you’re feeling especially generous, look around and find a grownup to be Santa to, especially be the Secret Santa and take no credit for a token that someone will appreciate.  I get the biggest freakin’ thrill out of leaving a gift card, even one for just $5 at Subway, on the desk of someone who would never ever suspect anything from me.  I don’t want thanks, just giving and tiptoeing away is so fun!!!!  Try it!  Adults need a little fairy dust and magic sometimes, too.

I had this conversation with someone today about a very human, important real life issue…and I was completely astounded at how cold and clinical the response was.  100% insensitive.  Couldn’t believe it.  Still can’t believe it.  Zero compassion.

Heartless beings scare me.

So I was just in the bathtub reading through the ginormous pile of catalogs that I’ve received in the last few weeks (yes, I know I could get off all those mailing lists, but I like to look at the pretty pictures!).  I fell in love with a few things, none of it stuff I needed at all, but stuff I wanted, stuff I desired, stuff I coveted, and I figure someone must be buying this stuff for someone somewhere…so I want to know how normal women get this stuff as gifts without coming right out and saying BUY ME THIS RING ON PAGE 32!  I must’ve missed out on the women’s seminar on how to get fabulous gifts when I was instead attending the seminar on how to snake a drain or something that I deemed more useful at the time.

I love presents.  I love good presents.  I love surprise presents for no reason at all, the ones that I don’t have to ask for and yet are so perfectly perfect I want to pee in my pants.  But how do you get them?  Men are not looking at these catalogs.  Men are only reading catalogs with firearms, car parts and hooters on the cover, not artsy fartsy catalogs with fountains, jewelry and mobiles made of little Chinese parasols.

What man wakes up and thinks, “ya know, after I go to Home Depot for a case of Gorilla Glue and a caulking gun, I’m gonna buy my woman one of them rings with a fancy love message in some foreign language engraved on it.”  NO MAN WAKES UP AND THINKS THAT! He will only think to do that if his woman has ripped the page out of the catalog, circled what she wants in Sharpie and stuck it in the middle of his copy of Playboy in the bathroom with a note that says, “I am holding the centerfold photo hostage unless you get me this ring from this catalog in a size 7.”

So I have to directly ask for what I want so specifically that I have to tear the page out of the book and hand it to someone and say GIMME?!  Pffffffffffft! Where’s the fun in that? I think that sucks totally and completely.  Where’s the element of surprise?  Where’s the plotting and the planning and the mystery to that?  I think that’s stupid and I want a do over.  Maybe it’s better to just read the catalogs in a hot bubble bath and imagine than it is to actually get the stuff inside the pages…

What were you doing at midnight last night?
work, i think.  i was up later than i should’ve been.
What did your 5th sent text message say?
i delete my sent texts fairly often, so doubt there is a 5th one, so let’s make one up, like “Alpha One, the eagle has landed and Elvis has left the building.  Copy that?”
Who is your favorite rapper?
LL Cool J and of course the Beasties for growing up with me, from fighting for their right to party to wanting to free Tibet.
How many texts are in your inbox as of right now?
no idea, too lazy to look, but not many, i delete them.

What was the last fast food restaurant you went to?
the ultra chic exclusive BK Lounge…

What about sit-down restaurant?
does Cracker Barrel count as a sit-down restaurant?!!!!!!  but i’m yearning for Bang Bang Shrimp and a chocolate martini from Bonefish…maybe I can treat myself this weekend…nothing says I’m popular like “table for one” on a Saturday night.

Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
yes, but i’ve gotten out of more than i’ve received, thank gawd for the kindly johnny laws who’ve let me go; i’m a safe driver, just a fast one
Is thereone person in your life that can always make you smile?
a couple, thank you for being you

What time did you go to bed last night?
after midnight sometime
What are you listening to right now?
Heaven Beside You, Alice in Chains
Name everyone in your inbox:
that could take daysssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

What did you do today?
worked, took a nice midday break from that work stuff, sat in a meeting for the rest of the day which is harder work than the actual work that I’d rather be doing—it’s so hard to sit there and act like a grownup while my to do list grows and grows and grows as the meeting goes on and onnnnnn
When is your birthday?
in September, but I am open to receiving gifts and homage year round.

How’s your heart lately?

happily hangin’ in there as I nudge people out of burning planes that are going downdowndownnnnnnn

If you have ever sent a text to the wrong person, who did you send it to, what did it say?
dunno ’bout a text, but i have sent an email to the wrong person and that was EMBARASSING AS HELL.  drunken emailing is wrong, kids.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
both have their merits.  it would be nice to stick my cold feet on someone (sounds enticing, eh? will there be a line at my door in response to that?)

Will next friday be a good one?
this one, probably average, but next one should be good.

When was the last time something bothered you?
today
When was the last time you were told you were cute?
right before I punched someone in the eye.  (‘cute’ is usually not a word used to describe me.)

Are you a jealous person?
no, not at all.  that’s often perceived as indifference, but no, i just pick my battles carefully.
Done anything illegal lately?
my standard answer to that is “no, officer.”
Describe your life in one word?
everchanging

Do you think age matters in relationships?
once you’re in your twenties, preferably mid to late twenties so you have some life experience to draw on, nah, as long as you’re both adults, age does not matter at all.
Do you like being hugged from behind?
oh me oh my, yes I do, but my space is pretty sacred so I wouldn’t try it if I were you unless you’d like your ass kicked

Have you ever tasted your own tears?
sure

When was the last time you got a haircut?
been a long time, need one, gettin’ wonkier than usual

If you could make your lips bigger, would you?
errrrrr, no.  i’m pretty cool with everything as is, thanks.
What are your plans for today?
day’s drawing to a close.  i will do some work and hope for a little delayed start to the day in the morning with wintry weather (cmon 2 hour school delay cmon!!!)

Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend?

i have shacked up, but everyone surveyed will agree i am not a good co-habitator; i like to be left the hell alone a lot and that is often misinterpreted and causes icky arguments.


Do you have a thingfor the last person you texted?
if i could say who that was for sure, then i could tell ya

Who did you last eat Chinese food with?
minime

I am thankful for everyone who puts up with my moody self.  While this has been a year of challenges, the blessings and benefits certainly outweigh the hardships.  I am a lucky Kat.

Tell us something about your ex?
One of my ex’s is dealing with cancer right now, and that’s tough.  I still think of us as younguns, and cancer is something for old people, you know?

How tall is the last person you hugged?
she’s getting closer and closer to my height every day
Do you think you are a good person?
Today, I’ve had my doubts.

Tell me about the shirt you’re wearing?
Same one I wore to work: a sweater that I shrank in the dryer.  None of my sweaters reach my wrists.

What woke you up this morning?

First one alarm clock, then the other clock, and I was still tired enough to fall back asleep even with all the noise.

What is the last movie that you watched?
Twilight with the tweenagers

What did you do today?
Worked, had my parade rained on and my cornflakes pissed in, opened this here bottle o’ wine

The way to win your heart?
Winning it is easy if you’re a good candidate, keeping it is the challenge

Has someone ever broken your heart?
yesssssssssssssss, broke it, poured kerosene on it, set it on fire and walked away

What were you wearing at 9am this morning?
some semblance of work clothes, i would be more productive if i could wear my pjs and be barefoot, but i doubt they would appreciate that much at ye olde office.

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
water.  but i’m liking the wine way better.

What were you like a year ago?
i was like this, only a year younger, i suppose.  maybe a little less world-weary.

What’s irritating you now?
there are simply no words to state that clearly at this time, so really, let’s ignore it and it will go away.

Do you like chinese food?
well, i went to asiana today but i had the thai curry chicken, so i don’t know if that counts exactly, but i like asiana!

Do you get distracted easily?
hmmm, what?

Do you like things in life to stay how they are or change?
how they are right this second?  no, change is requisite.
What do you do when you’re stressed out?
well, today i’m drinking this bottle of wine and will soon take a hotttttttttt bubble bath.  i’d like to run or jump or something crazy, but my left ankle is still all weak and gimpy, so i’ll have to settle for drinking and soaking.

Are you growing apart from someone close?
everybody can bite me  today.

What will you be doing in three hours?
brooding.  that sounds like a plan.
What is/are your favorite colors?
black, dark black, darkest black
Why did you last laugh really hard?
poor taste is a handicap, so i shouldn’t have laughed

Who do you care about the most?
Minime

Is there anyone you won’t ever forget?
indeed

Have a best friend?
yes indeedy

Has anyone ever told you they loved you, and who?
sure, but to quote fugazi “promises are shit, we speak the way we breathe”

So, what if you ate 59 chalupas?
I would lose consciousness in the booth of that all you can eat restaurant so please pay the tab for me and get some very sturdy busboys to drag me to the back seat of my car to sleep it off.

What are you listening to at the moment?
Slave, by Josh Todd (lead singer o’ Buckcherry), it’s about as f-ing cheerful as I am at this second

Will you be in a relationship in four months?
The only thing I can count on is that I will be the crazy cat lady of West Asheville and will probably have lost that bet & be one dollar broker. 
Is there someone that knows everything or mostly everything about you?
nahhhhhhhhhhhhh you all know something different, the work me, the private me, the soccer me…get together and put the pieces together with gorilla glue

Have you ever wished you had a different last name?
i wanted to only be rid of the first one i had, and now i have no interest in changing it legally again.  it’s too hard to change every account, driver’s license, passport, yadda yadda.  it’s just a name.
Can you sleep in jeans?

sure

Do you hate drama?
yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Have you/could you give up eating meat?
i didn’t eat any for more than 10 years, but went back to it somewhat.

Do you want a tattoo?
i want another, yes.  soon.  i will stand outside and wait for the money to rain down on my head, then drive to charlotte and let chad have at it.

Has anyone ever called you baby, with meaning?
blech.  not if they wanted to live.

Do you find the opposite sex confusing?
not at all.

Did you kiss someone before you were sixteen?
absolutely.  several someones.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
stifling them and moving on, yes.  hiding them, no.

Do you miss anyone?
yeah

Do you wave when you see people you know?
it depends if i like them or want to kick the shit out of them (you didn’t say people i like, just people i know)

How have you felt today?
pissed, slightly less pissed, then fully pissed again really, but mostly at myself
Do you drink Red Bull or any other energy drink on a regular basis?
sugar free red bull and oj make a lovely virgin mimosa

Have you ever told someone you like them?
no, because i dislike everyone, it’s kinder, gentler and safer that way.

What will you be doing at 11:00 AM?
getting minime ready to have lunch with her dad, i suppose.

Name something you have in common with all of your siblings:
they’re all related to me!

Who is the last person who wrote a letter to you on paper?
i dunno but i like handwritten letters and notes.  i like to open my mailbox and have real mail.

Last song you sang out loud?
Flowers and Cages by Josh Todd just a few minutes ago

Do you have a dirty mind?

no, i disinfect and deodorize it at least twice a week

Any regrets?
Regrets, I’ve had a few, but I did it myyyyyyyyyyyyy wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

But seriously, no, I don’t do regrets.  Live and learn and move on.

Are you usually the first to say sorry when you’re in a fight?
I will say sorry if I’m wrong, but I won’t be bullied into a sorry by someone looking for me to give in.

If you could seek revenge on someone, would you?
probably not…that’s a lot of effort

Did anything brighten up your day today? If so, what was it?
nothing so far really, everything is pissing me off

What are you going to do after this survey?
pour a refill

Do you fall for people easily?
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
How late did you stay up last night and why?
not late, tired
If you could move somewhere else, would you?
I can move somewhere else, but for the moment my ass is in this chair and I’m ok with that.

“I never wanted to be anybody’s anything at all.”    Dig the snazzy video someone’s put together set to clips from Spiderman…

 

Sing along with me:

Weaving through this dust
I trust nobody else but us
I must admit it’d take some years
for me to walk without this crutch
So on and such, I’d still be fucked
If I am forced to walk alone
And should I crumble at your feet
I’ll hold us both accountable
Let it be known, let it be known…
…I never wanted to be anybody’s anything at all.