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2013 is drawing to a close on this coast. 2013 kicked my ass in many ways…but there were blessings, too.
I didn’t get the big job I applied for, but as 2013 wraps up, I am grateful, because it’s not a place I want to work after all, no matter the position. I had a massive breakup, but on the bright side, I did not have a breakdown; on a related note, I read an article today that mentioned letting go of hatred toward all former love partners because the failure of the relationship didn’t make the love itself wrong since we all deserve a chance to love and be loved…thought that was nice so I’m wedging that concept in here. Finances have been challenging after going back to being a single income household, but the mortgage gets paid each month, there’s food in the cabinets and those are indeed reasons to be grateful. I sprained the crap out of my ankle, jammed my tallus bone under another bone and have been in physical therapy for a few months; the positive there is that I must remember to listen to my body, since I knew something was wrong months ago, but ignored it, and probably made the suffering longer and worse, so, yep, good lesson learned. I met my paternal grandmother this year, but she passed away a few months after we met; my bright spots there are that it was so nice and healing to hear her stories and recollections of my father–hearing her side changed some of my feelings that I’ve carried around for decades, and I am blessed with siblings that I look forward to knowing better. I published a tiny book as practice for bigger endeavors in self publishing so I could figure out the software and the process, and while I didn’t get on any best seller lists, it was so good to at least try my hand at self publishing so I could get over the fear of being out there on a bookshelf, open to criticism…yeah, I still dislike insults about my writing, but I know for sure that writing makes me happy, and I will write and be happy, so there. One of my dearest friends jumped into an rv and drove off with her hubby, but other friends have reappeared after years apart. I turned 40, which was a little stressful being officially middle-aged, but my coworkers and beau really made it a special day for me. A friend passed away at the end of 2013, but there is so much love for him and for our tribe of friends; his legacy is laughter.
Looking ahead into 2014, I want to continue doing the really good stuff like writing books, blogs, and whatever else needs my words, spending fun time with family and friends instead of holing up like a recluse for months on end (but I am truly an introvert, so I will still hole up alone now and then to recharge, just not every single night and weekend), and taking great care of myself, which includes staying in bed when I’m sick, pausing to read a great book, and enjoying dark chocolate without a speck of guilt. To do all that means saying “no” to things I truly don’t want to do, it means not giving all my energy to a job that makes me unhappy, and it means creating and honoring some personal boundaries. Sure, all the usual stuff applies like I’d like to lose weight, exercise, eat more veggies, organize my closets and create a refuge for unwed penguins, but really, I think all that will fall into place on its own if I do all the other stuff. For me, 2014 is about being happy and authentic.
Wishing all of you a happy, prosperous and amazing new year!