no, you’re wrong!

someone this evening told me that i don’t get along with the former mr. kat 2.0 because he’s my ex-husband and that no one gets along with their ex’s and yaddayadda.

you’re wrongwrongwrong on that count.  first, i can say that the former mr. kat 1.0 and i NEVER EVER fought like i disagree with 2.0, ever.  we never grated on each other’s nerves that way and we still don’t.   2.0 and i are like rival countries or hatfields & mccoys or a pack of dingos at a parakeet farm…and 1.0, while he certainly irked me enough that i divorced him for reasons i shan’t go into at this moment, never waged these battles with me, was not a freakin’ bully, did not find glee in upsetting me.

and furthermore! i am friends (or at least peaceable!) with most of my ex-boyfriends over the years, really.  i can remember why i was into them and put that in front of whatever disaster befell our relationship and just be friends, easy enough.  so it’s not that 2.0 is an ex and thus he’s unworthy of respect or whatever, noooooooo, because that’s not how i roll.  2.0 just knows how to irritate the snot out of me and considers it to be a recreational sport of some kind!  he wants a trophy in pissing me off.  he wants to medal in making me yell.

but! on the bright side, we don’t interact that much any more.  today was more interaction than we’ve had in a while and is a prime example of why i prefer email to in-person discussions with him.  it’s healthier if we just don’t talk right now…kinder, gentler, better that way.

a real thing that happened today

I had some wild children to amuse today but had mucho studying to do…so we ventured out into the world and went to a place that will only be described as incredibly loud yet fun.  Plenty for the wild ones to do while I hit the books.

I took a table and spread out my necessities as the children scampered away: notebook, pen, highlighter, textbooks, ginormous diet Coke.  I focused and was well into a chapter when I felt the table shift as someone sat down opposite me.  Assuming it was one of the wild children (and not hearing any wailing or other disturbances that required my immediate attention), I didn’t look up.  But then, my guest cleared his throat.

I looked up and there was a random dad sitting across from me, a random dad who no doubt was letting his kid(s) be entertained in the same venue.

Random Dad: Hey, whatcha studying?

Unfriendly Me: Errrr. Reviewing cascading style sheets right now.

Random Dad: Oh, really? (Makes face as if he knows what I’m talking about and tries to touch my textbook, which I slide away from his touchyosity) I’ve thought about going back to school.

Unfriendly Me: That’s always a good thing, no matter who you are. (I go back to looking at my book)

Random Dad: It sure is! Man, I loved college! blahblahblahblahblahblahblah (ok, he said actual words here, but I was not listening really and was looking at my book still)  blahblahblahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yaddayaddayadda yadda blahblahsomethingaboutwherehewenttocollegebackintheday yadda yadda

Unfriendly Me: Yeah, mmmhmmm. (clicking my pen now in frustration)

Random Dad: It’s totally crazy in here!

Unfriendly Me: (silent)

Random Dad: Yeah, so, wow! Yeah, it’s noisy in here! Kids are having fun, but I don’t know how you concentrate in here!

Unfriendly Me: It’s a lot easier to concentrate when no one’s talking to me. (I have now looked up and beamed a steady gaze of evil on my prey)

To say Random Dad scurried away is an understatement.  But thank goodness.   So. 

Dear Random Dad,

when your would-be woo-receiver is clicking her pen so fast it makes sparks, run away please. Run away.  Next time I’ll stick said pen in your hand for trying to touch my textbook.  Oh, and good luck with your woo-pitching; there are some nice, friendly mommies out there–I’m just not one of them by any stretch of the imagination. 

Sincerely, Unfriendly Me