The December holidays felt a little (lottle) craptacular this year. I was the brokest (yeah, it’s a word) I’ve been in years and years, and I quite frankly couldn’t buy gifts for people. It was just not possible, especially following some unplanned expenses. We all talk about how this time of year, regardless of religion or lack thereof, is about family and friendship and making memories, but it’s painfully awkward when you can’t participate in the exchange of gifts. Yes, I take care of others with gifts or meals or whatever at other times in the year whenever I can, but it was still a downer, really. It made the whole month feel yucky.
I did what I could for my kiddo for her bday and her xmas, and then that was the end of that. It sucked. I like giving gifts. I like wrapping presents (or “gift bagging presents” is more accurate) and letting someone know I thought of them enough to go a little out of my way just for them. Gift giving is nice, so it hurt my heart a little to be unable to participate.
Maybe there’s some change on the blustery winds today. It feels like it—like something amazing might be blowing my way at last. I would welcome a heap of good stuff, and I wish you the same.
I also wanted to type out a few words about 2016. People say it’s a terrible year, killing off celebrities, and then others are like, well, don’t all the cops and firefighters that died matter?!? Oy. It makes me not even want to open Facebook because I’ll either find out someone famous died OR I’ll be swamped with posts by someone pissed that we’re not giving attention to someone else not famous who passed. Uggg. Ok, y’all…everyone matters. Everyone’s death leaves a hole somewhere. I think, though, if you get the hell off your damned high horse, you’d understand that a lot of people feel impacted when a celebrity dies because in a sense, we all felt like we “knew” a piece of this person. When Prince died, for example, I was bummed that there would be no more new music from him; I enjoyed his talent. That said, Prince was no more important than a cop, a fire fighter, a teacher, a garbage man, a McDonald’s employee, or anyone else.
2016 wasn’t hard for me because of celebrity deaths. 2016 was hard for me because it was hard on my wallet. It was hard on my heart to have people I allowed to be close to me behave badly. It was hard on my motivation and determination to run into wall after wall in my personal life and my professional life. It was hard to see my nation/family/friends divided over a heated election, and the division is still there, still felt, long after the polls have closed. 2016 was a hard year, but not because of someone famous. 2016 was hard in all the boring ways that mean we’re human.