Hey, Pretty Lady

I buy a season pass for Splash Country specifically to float around the lazy river every year.  SPF 800 million, baseball hat, sunglasses and I’m ready to float around and around and around and around at every opportunity I get in the summer months.

Often, the lazy river is full of people of all ages, laughing and splashing.  I don’t care.  I totally check out and stare up at the clouds and the trees and just float.  Saturday was pretty typically crowded, so I was just doing my thing.

“Hey, pretty lady.”

I heard it the first time, but I wasn’t paying him any attention because I didn’t know anyone else in the lazy river.

“Hey, pretty lady.”

Just watching clouds.  Even snagged a second tube just to rest my feet on.

“Pretty lady, I’m going to splash you!”

And splash! Water all over my arm, so I look in the direction of the splasher.

There’s a tattooed guy, younger than me but not by much if I had to guess, grinning at me.  He’s got a tube over his middle, but he isn’t floating with the current, he’s walking along.

“Pretty lady, I was talking to you.  Didn’t you know you were the pretty lady?”

I shook my head.

“Oh, you don’t want to be bothered, do you?”

Shook my head again.

“Well, seemed to me you needed to be told you’re beautiful today.  Don’t get a sunburn out here.  Bye, pretty lady!” And off he went, walking into the crowd of floaters ahead of me in the lazy river.


But nice.

Kind of creepy.

But still nice.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *