This week’s woowoo, among other things, involves archangel meditations. Today’s meditation was to invoke the guidance of archangel Gabriel to speak that which must be said in order to release it to make room for the positive. All day long, I gave thought to what I have not said.
I meditated in a hot bath, and I came up with some things that maybe I have said, maybe I haven’t said, but if I say (write) them today, perhaps I can let go of the burden entirely.
Here’s the deal. I got screwed over this year. I let myself get screwed over in the name of love and forgiveness. In the spirit of forgiveness, I gave time, support, love, and money…and I got back jack shit, unless you count a world of hurt as a prize. I knew better, but dammit, I am the eternal romantic, and like Agent Mulder, I wanted to believe. I wanted to believe there was still some speck of love in this person’s heart, even though I knew logically that there was nothing there for me other than ice, so I absolutely did this to myself. Logic and emotion don’t always show up at the same time. So today, I forgive myself for willfully wearing blinders. I’m going to stop kicking myself over this because I know my heart was in the right place despite my idiotic choices. My intentions were good, and that’s good enough.
Making peace with my mistakes is important so I can make room for new love. Letting go of old hurts is essential so I am showing up whole, not as the walking wounded: distrustful, afraid. These efforts are to free me to do what I do best: love unabashedly, and I really do love fiercely from my soul outward. The hope is that my willingness to be loyal, kind, and loving will be returned to me consistently at long last. I don’t care about money or material things much at all, but I’d go the whole wide world for a steadfast love that is as reliable as the sunrise.
Thanks to meditations with archangel Gabriel for helping me speak my mind today, for help unchaining me.