you know you’ve been friends with someone way too damn long when you can listen to them talk about something poking them in the urethra (REALLY!) and still keep eating milk duds, unflinching. and then you have to one-up the poke in the urethra story with the omg my crotch was completely on FIRE** story while your friend eats fritos completely undisturbed. that’s friendship. amen to that.
**The short version: You may have seen the commercial for the Nuvaring, girls, a contraceptive ring and oh it’s ever so easy blah blah blah. Somewhere in there or in the tiny disclaimer, they say something about how some users experience a mild discomfort or irritation using the Nuvaring. HA! Mild? If contemplating pouring ice cold beverages into your crotch during a business meeting means you have mild discomfort, then yeah, I had mild discomfort. Talk to your doctor or whatever, but your friend Kat suggests you not try the Nuvaring, because I think the reason it’s a successful contraceptive is that there is no freakin’ way you want to have sex when your crotch burns like the seventh level of Hell, so yeah, pretty low likelihood of pregnancy there, folks.