Category: birthday

My Birthday Project 2013

Last year, I was having a rough time around my birthday.  I had an infection in my jaw causing me months of misery, constant headaches and sleeplessness.  In my personal life, I was not being treated very kindly no matter what I did, and in my professional life, I was trying to make some progress but felt stuck in quicksand.  I was down, feelin’ mighty low.

As my birthday rolled around, I remembered seeing something called “The Birthday Project,” a blog post about a woman who had planned 38 acts of kindness in honor of her 38th birthday.  What better way to get my head right than to do kind things for other people? What better way to appreciate how fortunate I was than to find ways to be in service to strangers?  You can check out The Birthday Project website here.

So, that’s what I did last year…I looked for all kinds of ways to do kindnesses for the people around me, 39 kind things for my 39th birthday.   I did things like put the carts back in the cart corral at the grocery store, push my neighbors’ trash cans back in their driveway, and put quarters in gumball machines for kids to find.  My favorite thing last year was buying a stranger’s breakfast at IHOP: with the help of my waitress, I was able to pick up the tab for someone dining alone and skedaddle before they found out I’d picked up the bill.  It was positively thrilling to rush around performing these little kindnesses without getting caught.  I didn’t want credit or thanks; the joy was in doing the nice things and scampering away.  These acts of kindness made me smile.  They made me forget my headache and sleeplessness, and I felt good for making a little difference in people’s lives.  These little acts of service made my problems seem small and helped me get my perspective back.

This year, I’d like to enlist more people to do an act of kindness for someone in the first week of September, oh pretty please, and that’s where you come into the equation!  I turn 40 on September 5th, and I’d love for my friends all around the world to do something, anything, this week for someone else in honor of my 40 year milestone.  Put the shopping carts away.  Leave flowers on your neighbor’s porch.  Buy coffee for the person behind you at Starbuck’s.  Tuck a nice note in a library book for a stranger to find.  Take doughnuts to the fire station.  Write a thank you note to a teacher or a nurse or someone who made your life better.  Take your old towels and blankets to an animal shelter.  You get the idea?  Just do something nice, something little or something big.  I can’t imagine a better birthday than knowing my friends all around the globe are spreading a little good cheer.  If you do an act of kindness, I’d love to know what it is! Also, if you’re feeling extra ambitious, share this blog post with your friends on Facebook and Pinterest and let’s really celebrate my 40th birthday with a flood of giving to others!

Thank you in advance for sharing a little birthday goodness with me!

What’s that sound???

That sound? That ticking sound, like a bomb threatening to detonate?  Holy crap, I think it’s my biological clock.

So.

After the failure of my long-term relationships (being an adult sucks sometimes), I’d pretty much given up on more kids really.  I’d convinced myself I didn’t even want them…even though we all know I’ve wanted a whole freakin’ tribe of my own all along…but every turn of the calendar page told me to shut that dream down, be done with it.  Not gonna happen.  You don’t want it.  You never wanted it.  Throw it away.  Forget it.  And so I did.

Or I thought I did.

Today, in my post-Vegas jet-lagged confusion, I forgot my lunch at home and had to go out for something.  Found myself at IHOP, tucked away in a corner where I could at least see trees and daylight for a little while.  A few moments after my order was taken, a family was seated in the booth opposite mine.  A baby girl in a hot pink tutu was placed in the high chair at the end of the table.  I tried not to look…not looking, not looking…omg I’m looking! And this sweet toothless girl in her hot pink cute ensemble is staring at me and smiling.  So I wave.  And she waves. And I wave. And she blows me a kiss. OMG!  All the wishes for a big family, for being mom to a whole herd of kooky kids, for some kind of reliable male partner, all that was set free in the instant that kiss was blown at me by this fuzzy headed little creature.

And now I’m just kind of an emotional girly mess.  The clock is ticking loudly.  Time is wasting, time was wasted on people who had no intention of every trying to be a family.  There is a window of time left where I could have my own kids, but that window seems so short, especially considering I’m missing the reliable male partner portion of the equation, the one who helps change diapers and helps make ends meet and wants to be a part of this whole thing.   I turn 40 next week and the biological clock is starting to sound more like a cuckoo clock in my head–was I cuckoo for wanting the kids and the partner…or was I cuckoo for not figuring out a way to do it on my own? Either way, I feel cuckoo, emotional and kinda overwhelmed.  Life has a way of working out and you never know how your dreams will come to fruition…but I am feeling skeptical about this one.

I’m not hell-bent on more kids having to be my biological children.  I could foster.  I could adopt.  I need more money and more time, though, than being a single parent paying all the bills provides.

I’m sorry if the sound of my ticking clock disturbs all of western NC.  I thought I’d pulled the battery out of that clock and tossed those out long ago, and that the clock was on lockdown in a vault somewhere.  Blame the sweet little kid in the tutu for my emotional chaos.

my very special friends

The photos I took at my own birthday soiree weren’t all that great, I’m told.  Everyone is all blurry and obviously the camera angle is all crooked…and yeah, yeah, I’ve heard that I must have been so sloshed to take such horrible pictures.

It’s truth time.  It’s time to come clean about those photos, time to come clean about my friends in those photos.  I can’t be silent about this anymore.

Here’s the 411, I hope you can handle the reality, it’s pretty harsh: those photos, all those blurry photos I took from my birthday party…you need to stop making fun of them right now. 

The facts are not that I was so sloshed I couldn’t take a proper photo; instead, the cold truth is that all my friends are blurry around the edges.  That’s right:  All my friends are blurry.  Some of my friends are even askew and off center.  So what?  I’m ok with that!  There was nothing wrong with me or my camera at my birthday party, and darn it, there’s nothing wrong with my friends, my blurry fuzzy hard to recognize friends.  Blurry people are people, too, with feelings, hopes and dreams!  I won’t have anymore blurry bashing; if you can’t be open minded enough to accept the blurry people in my life, you just need to move on, man, move on…

i think you know all the words…

…i think you were just too bashful to sing ’em, but i’d sing with you any ol’ time…

 

Before you slip into unconsciousness
I’d like to have another kiss
Another flashing chance at bliss
Another kiss, another kiss

The days are bright and filled with pain
Enclose me in your gentle rain
The time you ran was too insane
We’ll meet again, we’ll meet again

Oh tell me where your freedom lies
The streets are fields that never die
Deliver me from reasons why
You’d rather cry, I’d rather fly

The crystal ship is being filled
A thousand girls, a thousand thrills
A million ways to spend your time
When we get back, I’ll drop a line

~Crystal Ship, The Doors

birthday

Good birthday so far.  Got my first birthday kind thoughts in my email inbox at 12:12 AM (yes, I know, I shoulda been sleeping, tell me something I don’t already know), and it’s been all good since, but I have been so well celebrated with food that I might explode!  Gawd bless T for bringing my favorite juice smoothie AND a bendy straw this morning.  Warm cookies.  Breakfast casserole.  Haven’t even gotten into the banana split fixin’s I was generously gifted with today, and dinner awaits, too.  I’m so thrilled at being thought of this year, just giddy about it.  Karaoke and paintball tomorrow…come one, come all, let me shoot at you and sing horribly off key (but with enthusiasm) to you…

don’t let me watch tv, I get all girly and sensitive

I try not to watch tv.  I get sucked in and lose valuable time.  I get all lost in tear-jerking 2 hour episodes of House like I did tonight and end up feeling all sensitive and girly.

And then, once I get all freakin’ sensitive and girly, I have to start sharing things.  I must.  I can’t stop myself.  Crap.  Here I go, or I won’t be able to sleep…here comes the sharing, nice Kat and after 2 emotional hours of House, I have a lot to say: 

My birthday’s coming up (you must have been under a rock not to know that), and there’s a lot to think about, be grateful for, so very much on my mind.  I’m so excited about paintballing and dinner and karaoke for my birthday that I can hardly hold myself together.  I’m tickled pink not to have to throw my own party this year–thanks, T! 

I’m full of gratitude as this 35th birthday rolls around.  It’s been a tough year in a lot of ways, but I think I’ve picked myself up, dusted myself off and moved right along fairly well.  Dang that Chiquita for trying pretty hard to drop dead earlier this year and stressing me the hell out! Thank goodness she bounced back to eat apple fritters with me in TN and worry with me about poonanny maintenance!  And the V-man, glad you’re back in my life, though I hate that it took your illness to put you here, but I accept that sometimes that’s how life works–now and then, it takes the hardships to inspire us to reach out. 

The Bean and the Steinster moved away; while it bummed me out they had to move on down the road and I miss their jokes already, I’m so pleased they took the opportunities offered.  Miss Rosey, I’m glad that while it seemed like you were leaving, you got to stay after all; you’re a cool chickie.  Daisy, Daisy, Daisy, move that man into your house already; it’s killin’ me.  Annie Oakley, I’m so glad to walk and talk and harass Subway employees with you.  And speaking of lunch, that reminds me to get all grateful for Mr. Oddstar and the time we manage to find to split nachos with extra jalapenos and no tomato and talk about life; you know I’ll perform your wedding ceremony: I’m ordained! 

Mr. Dog and Uncle 420, thanks for always believing in the Kat Box and for helping me have this forum for the last, what, 8 years or so?  I’d be in a rubber room without it, and your offer to beat up those menfolk that have wronged me with baseball bats has always been such a comfort in my times of woe, thank you!!

Scoot gets mad props for building a good campfire and always letting me drink the majority of his beer without complaint; our younguns are gonna be hell on wheels together before we know it!  Ms. Morgan keeps me ever amused with her on-going sagas of love, keep ’em coming, along with your birthday celebrations laden with pumpkin cheesecake.  Baby Bro, I suppose that now that I’m just about 35 and you’re 33 that I might finally let you drive on our roadtrips——-nah, ask me again when you’re 35; bummer about CrueFest, but STP was crazy fun and so were all those roller coasters this summer!

I haven’t exactly made peace with the ex Mr. Kat 2.0 yet, but I have made some peace at long last with ex Mr. Kat 1.0 and that’s big progress over this time last year.  I saw 1.0 today and didn’t once yearn to punch him in the eye! That’s a huge change, so much can happen in a year.

This year we’ve had a bunch of potlucks and the absolute most hilarious food fight ever; I learned how hard it is to shake rice out of my ear and how pee in my pants funny it is to throw Jello in my unsuspecting friend Annie’s face.  Remember last year in September how I insisted on cake for my birthday potluck and had so much cake that I ate it for every meal for days and days!?! You were all so very, very good to me, showing me love with cake! Omg, it was so good to see my beloved Mr. Sutton for my last birthday, such a treat! I love those parties and camping trips and road trips and dinners; somehow I’ve become a social director on this cruise ship of life and I’m ok with that.

Spider John, come out and play with us.  Ricardo Allejandro of the High Mountains, I’ll perform your wedding ceremony, but I have questions about going commando under the kilt I know you’ll wear (what if it’s windy?!).  Vernie Sue & Ada Mae, ever so glad to still have you around–remember when we were just a bunch of goofy Warren Wilson freshmen (we’re still goofy)? NatureGal, you and your old man are such a good match; it’s so sweet and inspiring.  Sparky, what more can I tell you other than what you already know for sure? Thanks for making me smile a lot.  SGF, you are such an SGF and I’ll always be the NSGF (the color on my toes is Rocker Blues).  Don, send nosejob pix and thank you for turning me into a nut for cold sake.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m sure I missed a lot of folks in this lengthy drawn out rambling sensitive girly nonsense, but I have to stop now, I’m sorry! I’m getting sleepy finally, and I’ve worked most of the girly-osity out of my system at last.  So much has happened from turning 34 to getting ready to turn 35–thanks for all the adventures we’ve had, friends, and all the new adventures yet to come.  Thanks for the parts you play in the story that is my life, let’s see what happens in the next chapter!  Much love to all…g’nite!

My birthday, my birthday, yay yay yay

It’s time for my birthday!  There is no such thing as celebrating me too much!  If my parents had given me birthday parties as a child, I wouldn’t have to overcompensate like this as an adult!

The official date is September 5, but I am open to adoration and celebration starting right now.  If you have no idea what I want for my birthday, I will accept cash…and then I will kick you for not paying attention to my needs, wishes and whims.