… but it’s been on my mind for several hours now. Something to the effect of:
We spend so much time building our lives (house, car, career), we forget to spend time living our lives. True, isn’t it? Gotta look hot, gotta get a spouse, gotta get a house we probably can’t afford but that makes people jealous, gotta have some kids, can’t spend any time with the kids or the spouse because we gotta get ahead at work because we gotta get the coolest SUV that we can’t afford anymore than the house we picked…
I’m just as guilty as anyone else of ignoring real life stuff in order to maintain appearances at times, to get “ahead.” But ahead of what?? When I’m on my deathbed at 117 years of age, will my daughter’s children take my hand, shake their heads and wish that I’d only had a cooler car?? “Oh, if only Granny Kat had a sunroof and heated seats in that car of hers, her life would’ve been so much richer.”
I have a friend so wrapped up in the illusions and expectations of the world that he’s working his ass off in college at age 30…for a degree he doesn’t really want in a field of study that he doesn’t care about. Why? Because he HAS to have a college degree, as decreed by THEM, whoever they are, in a “respectable” field of study. He is stressed beyond belief, frenzied to the point of yammering on about ridiculous jibberish at midnight just to reach some goal he’s supposed to attain. He isn’t living the life he wants, he’s building a foundation that will put him in a career, because we all have to have a career, not just a job, of course…and it will be a career that is the complete opposite of anything that warms his spirit. I can tell him that it’s ok to chuck the whole thing and follow his heart, but he worries about what other people will think.
Another friend admits that he is absolutely miserable in his marriage and has been for years, that he’s just marking time until his kids are older (how old? 18? 25?) and it’s ok to get out. He has the kids, the spouse, a house, the pets, the career, but where is the joy? Is it natural and normal to deprive yourself of happiness in order to paint the picture of a terrific family to the outside world?
Hell if I know. I work in an environment that has caused me to have such serious and constant stress-related health issues that my doctor’s office knows me by my voice on the phone. Add to that the dentist that has had to “re-contour” my teeth with his buzzsaw tool thing this week because I’ve ground my teeth down to a level of agonizing discomfort through about 8 years of jaw-clenching at work. But it’s a good job, right? Why should I enjoy the workplace when I get decent insurance? I shouldn’t be happy at my job, should I?
The obvious answers are hard to face up to, but for myself, for my friends, we should all start living, even in just baby steps.