TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF ALREADY!!!!!!!

Over lunch with some anonymous awesome divas today, a conversation came up about body image.  I have a friend who will not be seen in a swimsuit at the beach or the pool, ever.  The conversation went even further into strange territory when it was stated that the preference was to even stay partially dressed (long tshirt, whatever) whilst in, ahem, intimate moments. 

This is not a gender specific issue, body image, so I wanted to get out here on my blog and talk to everyone about it.  Put on your freakin’ swimsuit and enjoy the ocean!  There will always be someone thinner than you, there will always be someone heavier than you, who the hell cares, go have fun!  And as for those intimate moments, ummm, you’ve gotten far enough with someone that clothing is optional and probably just in the way, so just remove it all!

I don’t care if I wear a swimsuit at the beach, geez.  The only peril to that is blinding innocent bystanders when the sunlight reflects off my whiter than white skin.  If I waited until I had some “perfect” body, whatever that is, I’d never freakin’ get to go swimming!  I don’t want to miss out on a thing, and why would you?  In fact, I have more than one swimsuit in case one’s wet and I wanna go swim again!  Why would you want to skip the trip to the lake or the pool party and miss out on fun with friends and family?  They really don’t give a snot what you look like in your swimwear, I promise; they just wanna goof off and spend time with you.  I can’t imagine missing out on playing “mermaid” with Minime in the pool or not wave jumping out in the ocean with because I was self-conscious about my butt in a swimsuit.

As for your special getting freaky moments, strip!  In a fit of far TMI, I will tell you that I HATEHATEHATE to get cold, so in the summer with the A/C blowing, I like a little coverup if it’s time to get down, but if we can get it warm in here, it’s a free for all of paleness and tangled limbs.  Why? Because this is it, folks, this is all there is.  Today is all we have, right this minute, so you gotta accept who you are inside and out today.  Sure, you can wish your abs were less sticky outy, but today, they are what they are…do some crunches and get your freak on!  I hate to think that people are skipping intimacy with their loves because they feel funny about whether their boobs are too small or their ass is too big or their stomach is too round or their elbows are too pointy or I don’t even know what else.  We’re all human, we come in different shapes and shades and sizes, and who you are today, right this second, is completely strip-worthy to the one you love that loves you, too.

It’s not a beauty pageant, it’s real life.  I work with a guy who has such a way with the ladies, but on the surface, he’s just an average fellow—no movie star looks, no bling. There’s never a shortage of women in his life.  It’s not about his looks or his physique, though, it’s about confidence in himself.  He believes he’s a hottie from Hottieville, he projects this with ease and grace, and thus he is.  Believe, people, believe! I know I can’t make you see what you don’t want to see in yourselves, but dang!  This life we get is too short to be thinking you’re anything less than Da Bomb!

Take your clothes off already…in broad daylight, even! (disclaimer: please strip only in the privacy of your own home and not, say, at Waffle House or the office)  All you have is today…enjoy the hell out of it!