I had some wild children to amuse today but had mucho studying to do…so we ventured out into the world and went to a place that will only be described as incredibly loud yet fun. Plenty for the wild ones to do while I hit the books.
I took a table and spread out my necessities as the children scampered away: notebook, pen, highlighter, textbooks, ginormous diet Coke. I focused and was well into a chapter when I felt the table shift as someone sat down opposite me. Assuming it was one of the wild children (and not hearing any wailing or other disturbances that required my immediate attention), I didn’t look up. But then, my guest cleared his throat.
I looked up and there was a random dad sitting across from me, a random dad who no doubt was letting his kid(s) be entertained in the same venue.
Random Dad: Hey, whatcha studying?
Unfriendly Me: Errrr. Reviewing cascading style sheets right now.
Random Dad: Oh, really? (Makes face as if he knows what I’m talking about and tries to touch my textbook, which I slide away from his touchyosity) I’ve thought about going back to school.
Unfriendly Me: That’s always a good thing, no matter who you are. (I go back to looking at my book)
Random Dad: It sure is! Man, I loved college! blahblahblahblahblahblahblah (ok, he said actual words here, but I was not listening really and was looking at my book still) blahblahblahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yaddayaddayadda yadda blahblahsomethingaboutwherehewenttocollegebackintheday yadda yadda
Unfriendly Me: Yeah, mmmhmmm. (clicking my pen now in frustration)
Random Dad: It’s totally crazy in here!
Unfriendly Me: (silent)
Random Dad: Yeah, so, wow! Yeah, it’s noisy in here! Kids are having fun, but I don’t know how you concentrate in here!
Unfriendly Me: It’s a lot easier to concentrate when no one’s talking to me. (I have now looked up and beamed a steady gaze of evil on my prey)
To say Random Dad scurried away is an understatement. But thank goodness. So.
Dear Random Dad,
when your would-be woo-receiver is clicking her pen so fast it makes sparks, run away please. Run away. Next time I’ll stick said pen in your hand for trying to touch my textbook. Oh, and good luck with your woo-pitching; there are some nice, friendly mommies out there–I’m just not one of them by any stretch of the imagination.
Sincerely, Unfriendly Me
too funny!